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Gay Freedom In Barbados
Gay Freedom In Barbados
On most Barbadian forums you will see claims of the fact that persons in Barbados like to talk your business and hence there is a need for discretion. That you can't be open here. I have also had non- Caribbean persons assuming that gay persons maybe harmed here if they make their lifestyle ( I hate that term but I will use it for now) open. When I have been asked by non- Caribbean folks regarding how gay friendly Barbados is I say "there is a don't ask don't tell policy"; "no one will harm you simply because you are gay" ;"you can live your life if you want to" and "persons may talk behind your back, but they will about something in any case so this would just be maybe one other thing".
I have always had the opinion, simply because of the above, that persons hide here because they want to. I am not referring to persons who have spouses to worry about, but I am talking about persons who have no spouse but seem to think for some reason that they can't be open in Barbados.
I have never been one who has been under the impression I had to hide. I do not shout things from the roof top. I do not tell everyone I am so inclined, however should I want to I don't feel that someone will kill me. I also do not curb my ways because I think someone will see me and think ohh my goodness she is gay. I have never been harmed. I think persons who know me still respect me for the person that I am even after I have told them. I am not saying that persons do not talk behind my back, but again they would have in any case about something. I do not make it a point to tell persons my preference before they get to know me as a person, but to me hiding shows lack of balls and nothing else.
When I say hiding I mean denying profusely when someone says that you are, instead of saying “Hmm and that is your business how??” By hiding I mean denying you know someone because someone asked if you know that person because I hear they are gay. Instead of saying “Hmm the person I know is a good and dear friend.” By hiding I mean putting your main family's reputation before your outside person’s reputation. That is hiding. That is having no balls. Actually that is more than having no balls, that is just plain and simply being selfish.
But I digress. I really started this post to say. PEOPLE there are persons who do walk around with their same sex spouses here and are not harmed.
Some of these sightings were by a friend, but are sighting nonetheless.
Sighting 1. Two gay guys (Barbadians)in a popular wholesale membership store arguing (harmlessly) over what cornflakes to buy. People heard and smiled (simply because the argument was funny) but did not harm.
Sighting 2. Two gay females (Did not look like Barbadians) walking, near Worthing beach, holding hands. No harm was done there either. A man merely shook his head and indicated that it was a waste (darn good looking women who did not want a man)
Sighting 3. Two women (Barbadians)holding hands in Bridgetown. No harm came of them either.
Sighting 4. Gay male who dresses like a woman, not in drag, just feminine. Again no harm, maybe just some words when persons are in groups (yah know how spineless homophobic persons can be)
I could go on, but I will not. We all have our families to think about and I am not saying that anyone should not think about the consequences openness would have. I am also not saying that anyone should force anyone else to tell their friends and family if they don't want to. I am however saying "People find another excuse because just saying I don't want anyone to talk about me just ain't working any more"