WHAT'S IN A WOMAN?  

AlbertPrince 57M
4459 posts
12/3/2005 8:29 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

WHAT'S IN A WOMAN?

The human body is made up of, like, water and stuff. And some teeth. This, however, only applies to the male; the female, beautiful thing that she is, has contents unique to herself. Exactly what is it that fills out a lady?

The Brain:

The male brain has three main parts: the cerebellum, the brainstem, and the forebrain. Woman, however, only have two sections. One, the trivialevum, takes up 87% of the brain and is filled with information men don't need to store: stuff like how many calories are in double fudge cake, birthdays of people they hardly know, and the names of flowers. The other 13% is reserved for telephone numbers, with a small section for unfounded neuroses.

The Shoulder:

Not much to a shoulder, you'd think, beyond knocking into doors and hanging a jacket from. Not so! A woman's hormonally adjusted shoulder has a unique swivel disk which automatically rolls the shoulder across the body in a defensive motion should the female detect a slight from any living being. This "snubbing" is completely imagined in 75% of cases.

The Breasts:

To male eyes, there is nothing complex about a woman's breasts ‒ two lumps on the front of the chest that account for a relatively small portion of the female body. In a woman, however, there is a direct link between the breasts and the brain - a link that, unfortunately, is regularly disrupted or faulty. The two messages sent along the line of communication are "my breasts are too small" or "my breasts are too big". These electronic impulses bear no relation to the actual size of the glands.

The Index Finger:

Woman have a special finger, which has a "sponge fibre" at the knuckle joint. Men don't need this safety feature because the pressure put on their joints in a lifetime is minimal. Woman, however, suffer from Repetitive Dial Strain, and need this unique adaption to avoid cramping in later life.

The Digestive System:

The male digestive system can handle all sorts of stuff: cheese from a tube, raw beef, wool. The female system is more delicate: it has a massive reservoir reserved for chocolate and another, much smaller, tract to deal with tiny salads and mineral water. Uniquely, woman can swap between the two systems. Sometimes in a single meal sitting.

The Abdomen:

Within this section of the woman, two essential elements are stored. One is the Biological Clock, which starts ticking around the time a woman realises work is a pain in the arse. The other is a tiny nodule adjacent to the clock where the famous "female instinct" is stored. This nodule is vestigial, and consequently remains unused during a woman's lifetime.

The Buttocks:

Most of the female buttock is, in fact, designed for utilitarian rather than sexual use. While it is true that the buttock can be used as a device to lure men, its primary purpose is to serve as a padded, moulded cushion. This enables a woman to sit snugly for hour after hour after hour without the discomfort of sores. Believed to have co-evolved alongside the "sponge fibre" joint (see above).


rm_captcha3 43F
35 posts
12/3/2005 9:28 am

are you a doctor,lol,you know alot about women ,does it help you at all with the girls


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
12/3/2005 9:36 am

Love it. You know the ladys will get you for this.


brightblonde3 58F

12/3/2005 9:37 am

Your Majesty, now you know why women order a tiny salad and whopping piece of fudge cake for dessert...we can't help it, we're just made that way.

BB3


norprin5 55M

12/3/2005 9:41 am



King Nor XVIII


helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
12/3/2005 9:45 am

Lol... looks like you have us well and truly sussed.

Hx

Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥


bardicman 50M

12/3/2005 10:56 am

I want to laugh so hard but I am so afraid of all the points I will lose with the ladies...
Fuck it

ROFL



I am not dead yet


DTand5Speed 41M/50F

12/3/2005 4:40 pm

LMFAO...and I'm a woman. **smacks Bard because he laughed**


tillerbabe 55F

12/3/2005 9:35 pm

LMAO! BUT! you forgot to mention the "location" of the brain..where as the female brain resides in the skull..the male brain sits between two balls and is influenced by a surge of blood where in it stops thinking and starts fucking!


rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
12/3/2005 9:37 pm

Yeah, water, teeth and some black stuff. And no Captcha, hes not a doctor, he just plays one on TV.


AlbertPrince 57M

12/4/2005 11:37 am

captcha - lol, I'm not a doctor, but I'm happy to share my vast knowledge of women with the rest of blogland.

oldman - it's happened before, it'll happen again

Bb - one of life's mysteries

norprin -

Hh - oh, yes, I know all your secrets

bard - take a chance, laugh. And who is Rolf?

DT - you know its all true, and leave bard alone

tiller - thanks for reminding me

stinky - one of my many roles, where did you all my knowledge came from


rm_CiuteCat 40F
48 posts
2/20/2006 12:54 pm

Hi, Prince Albert

read just your part on breasts:
what you call electronic impulses regularly disrupted or faulty:
It is not that easy -
lets leave it at that, haven't time enought to try and explain if your perception of the female body is at that level
Sorry, but what can I say?
Think you intended to be humorous?

Hi, Captcha3:
hope he not a doctor, would likely be one of the simple ones, no?

CC


rm_CiuteCat 40F
48 posts
3/28/2006 8:56 am

Maybe I should explain:
the reason why I put up a comment on that was simply to gain me some points at that time ..
sorry

CC


rm_CiuteCat 40F
48 posts
3/28/2006 9:00 am

Hi, Saitlianna
aplause - - - - - - - - full stop

CC


rm_sswiftone 51M
14 posts
8/3/2006 12:35 pm

Albert Prince

..isn't it interesting how basic a man's knowledge of women can be - and that even though they are of the same species, I mean they are not from planet Venus or from Alpha Centauri ...
And he is even posting (or should I say boasting) it!
Albert, the breasts are not at all but 'two lumps on the front of the chest'. Lumps! Sorry, sorry, sorry for your low perception. Never felt more glad about being able to see more of it, in it and about it!
That's all I can say without becoming insultant.
Full stop!


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