Only In The Movies 2  

AlbertPrince 57M
4459 posts
9/23/2005 2:17 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Only In The Movies 2

1. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.
2. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
3. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
4. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.
5. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
6. It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly.
7. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (it's called Stallone's Law).
8. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.
9. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
10. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.
11. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.
12. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
13. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
14. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
15. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.
16. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.
17. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties).
18. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real life too!).

see also Only In The Movies 1

brightblonde3 58F

9/23/2005 8:28 am

11.a. Men never hog the covers.

19. Cats never wake you up at 3:30AM yowling for attention.
19.a. Men never wake you up at 3:30 AM yowling for attention (not necessarily an un-good thing....)

SibylBatchAxile 43M
384 posts
9/23/2005 2:26 pm

10a. The elaborate attempt at killing is always preceded by a long drawn-out monologue where the villain reveals his entire plan - and the reasons for it - to the hero.

rm_EE407 41F
3903 posts
9/23/2005 3:55 pm

pml @ nr 11

helga_hansen 49F  
1987 posts
9/24/2005 5:54 am

What do I do if I don't wear glasses... all I have left open to me is to re-arrange my hair!!!

Oh... you said the movies... lol... silly me!


Love, hugs and kisses from ♥♥HH♥♥

brightblonde3 58F

9/24/2005 6:50 am

Darius, you are so right! And don't you think by now people would know never to say to someone, "I'm going to the police and letting them know what I know." DUHHHHHH....


AlbertPrince 57M

9/24/2005 7:59 am

BB - I would hope that I wouldn't be asleep by 3:30

True Darius, but the films would be a lot shorter if the hero was killed off at the first attempt

EE - it's a fact. I hope you've got yours ready.

Luckily Helga - you didn't start out plain or ugly.

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