Guys are quiet in bed because.........  

AlbertPrince 57M
4459 posts
8/19/2005 2:09 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Guys are quiet in bed because.........


Guys are quiet in bed because we are too busy thinking. You heard me right. Thinking. Deep thoughts. You see, it seems to generally be the guy's job, (at least in my experience) to make the girl feel as good as possible and have sweet, sweet orgasms. The girl, on the other hand, is generally content to just lay back and see what I've got to offer. Again, I can't speak for anyone else, this is just in my personal experience.

Not only am I thinking during sex, I am multi-tasking. My neuro-net processor of a brain is pounding algorithms as fast as my penis is pounding pussy.

Just what is going through my head during sex? Like the moon, this is a frontier so far journeyed only by man. But here is a small window of what goes on in my head during sex:

BRAIN: "Alright, time for some action"
BRAIN: "I hope I don't fuck up this time"
BRAIN: "Is that the right hole?"
BRAIN: "Oh wait, there it is"
BRAIN: "All right, lets start out slow"

It isn't long before my thoughts turn into a quiet panic.

BRAIN: "Damn, she just moved."
BRAIN: "Did I do something right, or did I hurt her"
BRAIN: "She's making noises!"
BRAIN: "Pain noises or pleasure noises?"
BRAIN: "Let try stepping up the pace a little"
BRAIN: "More noises, I pretty sure that's pleasure now"
BRAIN: "Oh yeah, she's starting to flush, I like that"
BRAIN: "Lets try changing the angle a bit"
.............................

BRAIN: "Nope, didn't like that"
BRAIN: "Damn, what was I doing before?"
BRAIN: "Fuck it, lets try a different position"
WOMAN: "OUCH!"
BRAIN: "Yeah....that one was definitely pain>
WOMAN: "What are you doing?"
BRAIN: "Mayday! Mayday!"
BRAIN: "Decrease Velocity!"
BRAIN: "Open flaps"
BRAIN: "Landing gear engaged"
BRAIN: "Disengage primary thrusters"
BRAIN: "Systems check"
ME: "You allright?"
WOMAN: "Uh....Yeah"
BRAIN: "No system damage"
ME: "Allright, lets try this again"

–five minutes later....computer pretty much takes over–

BRAIN: "Allright, back on track"
BRAIN: "Target in sight, hold position"
BRAIN: "C'mon.......C'mon"
BRAIN: "Hold it......Hold it....."
COMPUTER: WARNING! WARNING!
COMPUTER: ERR-ERR-ERR
BRAIN: "Oh shit"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD IMMINENT
BRAIN: "Oh shit, not yet!"
BRAIN: "Just a little longer"
COMPUTER: DANGER HULL INTEGRITY
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD COMMENCING
BRAIN: "FUCK! I'm not going to make it"
BRAIN: "Pull out and prepare for manual override"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________
BRAIN: "Pull out, pull out"
COMPUTER: AUTO PILOT ENGAGED
BRAIN: "NO! UNENGAGE! UNENGAGE!"
COMPUTER: TARGET LOCKED....TARGET LOCKED
BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
BRAIN: "If I cum now, will it be too soon?"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________
BRAIN: "Must....hold....on"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________
BRAIN: "can't.....hold it"
COMPUTER: SYSTEM OVERLOAD __________
BRAIN: "Its out of my control, its in God's hands now"
COMPUTER: "PRIMARY VALVE: EJACULATING"
COMPUTER: "AUTOMATIC SYSTEM SHUT DOWN: COMMENCING"

WOMAN: "Honey, are you alright?"
ME: Yeah.....my head hurts...."
WOMAN: "Sorry"
ME: No, the other head"
WOMAN: "What?"
ME: Nothing"
ME: Did you cum"
WOMAN: "What, you didn't notice"
ME: Actually, I was kinda too busy to notice"
WOMAN: "You're so weird"
ME: You should try being the pilot next time"
WOMAN: "Get off me, I need to pee"

Do you ever find that pre-orgasm expression on a guys face funny?
Ever wonder what he's feeling"
Its not pain
Its not pleasure
It is deep, hard, seething thought.

TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
8/19/2005 6:31 am

Wonderful, sir, truly wonderful


rm_dizzyandfun 48F
752 posts
8/20/2005 7:46 am

Hilarious!!! but do women really just lay there? I must be doing something wrong.......

diz xx


Mccartney2003 38M
281 posts
8/21/2005 10:48 am

Great post!


007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
8/21/2005 11:51 am

thats pretty good. although I am sometimes wondering what the hell hes thinking. My mind is going, "is it good?", "am i any good?" "is my ass too big?" "why wont this guy cry, yell, moan or something?" something along those lines is whats going through my head. LOL

keep blogging.

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"


rm_PhotoDude58 58M
17 posts
8/21/2005 6:44 pm

That sounds so familier, LOL...

Great Blog


Masseur_0 41M

8/22/2005 5:45 pm

That's about right...but in a Scotish accent . And the computer has to be in a female deadpanned voice, like the Spaceballs femaile computer...Yea, that's it....
Nice post...


rm_EE407 41F
3903 posts
8/29/2005 1:43 am

Wait.. women just lay there??? darn... I must have been misinformed.. darn... (I tend to be VERY actively involved)...

TFF btw hunz...


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