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Fun at funerals
Fun at funerals
1.Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make love with you.
2.Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until you find your contact lens.
3.Punch the body and tell people that he hit you first.
4.Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
5.Ask someone to take a snapshot of you shaking hands with the deceased.
6.Walk around telling people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
7.Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
8.Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask if he can sneak him into the coffin.
9.Put a hard-boiled egg in the mouth of the deceased.
10.Slip a whoopee cushion under the widow.
11.Leave some phoney dog poop on top of the deceased.
12.Promise the minister a hundred dollars if he doesn't keep a straight face while praising the deceased.
13.Walk around telling people that the deceased didn't like them.
14.Use the deceased's tongue to lick a stamp.
15.Ask the widow if you can have the body to practice tattooing on.
16.Put crazy-glue on the deceased's lips just before the widow's last kiss.
17.Show up at the funeral services in a clown suit.
18.If the widow cries, blow a trumpet every time she wipes her nose.
19.When no-one's looking, slip plastic vampire-teeth into the deceased's mouth.
20.Toss a handful of cooked rice on the deceased and scream "MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!" and pretend to faint.
1/21/2006 10:50 am
Grab the deceased by their funeral clothes and scream "Now how am I gonna get that twenty bucks you owe me?" while you shake them.|
1/21/2006 11:12 am
This is soooo sick.....I love it!|
1/21/2006 5:20 pm
Very funny, reminds me of the George Hamilton vampire movie where the early 80's African American woman is crying on the coffin she thought belonbed to her husband, "When I told your to go find your roots, I didn't tell you to drink the water!" I always think about saying that one for some reason. That George Hamilton is a British national treasure isn't he?|