Disorder in Court 4  

AlbertPrince 57M
4459 posts
2/5/2006 10:31 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Disorder in Court 4

More (alleged) court room responses

Q. The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You, too, were shot in the fracas?
A. No, sir. I was shot mid-way between the fracas and the naval.

LAWYER: What did the tissue samples taken from the victim's vagina show?
WITNESS: There were traces of semen.
LAWYER: Male semen?
WITNESS: That's the only kind I know of.

LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in New York?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.
LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Chicago?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.
LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Miami?
WITNESS: No.

Q. What happened then?
A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q. Did he kill you?

LAWYER: On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the farmhouse down the footpath to the cowshed?
WITNESS: I did.
LAWYER: And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the duck pond?
WITNESS: I did.
LAWYER: And did you observe anything?
WITNESS: I did. (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?
WITNESS: I saw George.
LAWYER: You saw George *******, the defendant in this case?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: Can you tell the Court what George ******* was doing?
WITNESS: Yes. (Witness remains silent.)
LAWYER: Well, would you kindly do so?
WITNESS: He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks.
LAWYER: His "thing"?
WITNESS: You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis.
LAWYER: You passed close by the duck pond, the light was good, you were sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: Did you say anything to him?
WITNESS: Of course I did!
LAWYER: What did you say to him?
WITNESS: "Morning, George."

Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?
A. No.
Q. What was he doing with the dog's ears?
A. Picking them up in the air.
Q. Where was the dog at this time?
A. Attached to the ears.

Q. What is your relationship with the plaintiff?
A. She is my daughter.
Q. Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

Q. ... and what did he do then?
A. He came home, and next morning he was dead.
Q. So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?

Q. Could you see him from where you were standing?
A. I could see his head.
Q. And where was his head?
A. Just above his shoulders.

Q. ... any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
A. The victim lived.

Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Q. You say you're innocent, yet five people swore they saw you steal a watch.
A. Your Honor, I can produce 500 people who didn't see me steal it.

LAWYER: So, after the anaesthetic, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?
WITNESS: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
LAWYER: It was covered?
WITNESS: Yes. Bandaged.
LAWYER: Then, later on, what did you see?
WITNESS: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.

See also:
Disorder in court 3


rm_titsandtires 51M/41F
3656 posts
2/5/2006 5:24 pm

In a really sad way, this explains alot.

tires


Sister_Act_4_You 37F/37F

2/6/2006 3:46 am

i simply have no doubt this is all real! lol!


pinkplaytoyz 49F

2/6/2006 7:17 am

I'm beginning to wonder about the effects the court system has on its representatives...!!!

pink o-o


skyking412004 53M
5363 posts
2/8/2006 5:47 am

Oh my God!!! Did you come up with those yourself? I kept thinking 1940's radio.


jakblack36 48M

2/8/2006 8:18 am

This was one of the most hysterical postings I have ever read. "morning george" made coffe come outta my nose!


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