Ask Dr Prince  

AlbertPrince 57M
4459 posts
9/1/2005 2:20 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Ask Dr Prince

Dear Doctor Prince: I've had high blood pressure for years, and nothing seems to help. How do I get it under control?

Chronic hypertension is a very serious problem that cannot be ignored. Although medication and lifestyle changes may help, the most effective approach is to find a way to relieve the pressure quickly and permanently. Luckily, this can be accomplished in the comfort of your own home. The trick is to sever a major artery, thereby relieving the excess pressure in your circulatory system. I recommend a deep incision across both wrists or the neck. Although there is some temporary discomfort, your blood pressure will start to drop immediately. Within minutes, the pain will cease as your blood pressure levels off at an absolute minimum. I guarantee you will never have trouble with your blood pressure again!



Dear Doctor Prince: I was recently evicted from my apartment because I couldn't pay the rent. I just can't seem to find affordable housing. I know this isn't a medical question, but you seem to have the answer to any problem. Can you help?

And how! First, why are you throwing away your money on rent? For a very modest sum, you can purchase residential property that will last you forever. Admittedly the lots (usually called "plots" in the trade) are quite small, and there is a requirement that you make your home below ground level; but those are small sacrifices considering that you will be free of living expenses for eternity! You may feel a little cramped at first (in fact, some folks get downright frantic during the first hour or so in their new home!) but this will pass quickly as you settle in. There are some additional perks as well, such as free lawn care and fresh flowers on Memorial Day. If you're interested, I can provide you with a list of establishments in your area that provide these services. If you mention Doctor Prince sent you, you might even get a discount!



Dear Doctor Prince: I have suffered from insomnia my entire life. I am always tired and cranky, I can't concentrate at work, and I will scream if I have to watch one more infomercial at 3:00 a.m. What should I do?

I have good news for you! Modern medicine has provided several medications that offer swift, effective, lasting relief for insomnia. Any one of them is effective, but I usually recommend carbon monoxide. It is readily available, easily administered and has no side effects. I have tried this therapy on many patients, and not one of them has ever suffered from insomnia again!

And now Dr Prince is ready and waiting for your calls......if there is anything at all that is worrying you, tell me all about it - I'm here to help!


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
9/6/2005 4:47 am

lol that is one way to look at it

WyvernRose


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
9/6/2005 6:51 am

actually I just noticed something......you've never seen anyone actually try to do that huh.....to cut across the wrist doesn't bleed as well as to cut up the forearm from the wrist and this way is actually much more difficult to repair......

just if your wondering

WyvernRose


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