APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER  

AlbertPrince 57M
4459 posts
11/25/2005 12:26 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, driving record, lineage, and current certified medical report (including drug tests) from your doctor.

1. NAME __________ DATE OF BIRTH __________

2. HEIGHT __________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q __________ G.P.A. __________

3. NATIONAL INSURANCE # __________________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________

4. BOY SCOUT RANK __________

5. HOME ADDRESS ____________________________________________
CITY/COUNTY__________ POST CODE __________

6.Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? Y / N
If No, EXPLAIN ___________________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married __________

8. Do you own a van? A truck with oversized tires? A waterbed? Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or a tattoo? (If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises) __________

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________

10. In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER!" mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________

12. Church you attend __________ How often do you attend? __________

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? _____________________

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)

a) If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is _________________

b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my __________

c) A woman's place is in the __________

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is __________

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is __________
(NOTE: If your answer begins with 'T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low. Running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? ___________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, AND RED-HOT POKERS.

Signature (That means your name, moron) ______________________________

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If you do attempt any communication before your application is approved, automatic disqualification will result. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases (You might want to watch your back).

Do you still want to date my daughter?

__________ Yes, please accept my application

__________ I um, no, I uh, think I have the wrong house...



silkysmoothlegs3 105F

11/25/2005 2:47 am

LOL

Pity it isnt as handy as that

daughters tend to choose the exact opposite to what one would like

Brill blogg

love silky xx


freetime648 52F

11/25/2005 3:54 am

Now, where was this before my daughter had a child with the imbecilic cretin she is with now????


xx FREETIME648 xx


Valdrane78 38M

11/25/2005 4:05 am

All I need when the guy comes a courtin, is my trusty Desert Eagle and my cleaning gear.

BANG! POW! BOOM! a study in useless knowledge and sick humor!
I want a damn soundtrack to my blog!


caressmewell 53F

11/25/2005 5:20 am

lol
I will need a copy of this soon


2xTwiceShy 51M
470 posts
11/25/2005 6:56 am

In the mean time, she'll continue dating Marilyn Manson.


digdug41 49M

11/25/2005 7:02 am

I will definitely be copying this one to spring on the first fool that wants a shot at my daughter lol

roaming the cyber streets of blogland


rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
11/25/2005 7:08 am

You are right on the money Big Daddy...gotta be willing to ask questions to get answers...God Help Him whoever Him Be....

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


JJKittyKat 59F

11/25/2005 8:37 am


funandgames4443 55F

11/25/2005 10:29 am

When my son was 12 years old we biult him a room in the basement. It had one of those polls in the middle of the room. I wanted to cover it and I heard him say to his dad..."no way dad, thats for the dancing girls".
He's 15 now and I gave him your form to fill out. He says he'll complete it only after he gets a few pics from you of your daughter on a poll.
He's waiting!!!!


weineroftheworld 66M

11/25/2005 12:29 pm

The first time my daughter brought a boy home, I gave him a 12ga shotgun shell with his name written on it. He never came back and never spoke to her again...


Mary_Xmas 41F

11/25/2005 2:14 pm

You sound just like my dad!


MaggiesWishes 60F

11/25/2005 5:32 pm

OH my stars!
That was too funny, but so necessary!
I'm cracking up, and thanking God, I don't have to worry about that mess.

warm wishes


saddletrampsk 54F

11/25/2005 8:15 pm

My daughter just turned 16..I think I will copy, paste and print this..and I hope her dates can run a zig zag pattern..


rm_AmishAmy 100F
246 posts
11/26/2005 12:04 am

The Benefit of Chain Letters Nov 24, 2005 7:48 am
319 views
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your damn chain letters over the past few years. Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of what's left of my heart for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern...I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

I no longer use cling wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer use margarine because it's one molecule away from being plastic.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume
sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Beijing and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (WOW, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl in India who is about to die (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all. But that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!

I will now return the favour.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1,200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhoea will crap on your head at 50pm this afternoon and the fleas from a thousand camels will infest your armpits.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of my next door neighbour’s ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd husband's ex-wife's mother's beautician!


expatbrit49 62M

11/26/2005 2:26 pm

Excelent, Printing copies now

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
11/26/2005 2:40 pm

Where is the APPLICATION TO DATE MY MOTHER???

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...
{=}


norprin5 55M

11/26/2005 9:41 pm

wish I'd had that 3 years ago!

King Nor XVIII


AlbertPrince 57M

11/27/2005 1:24 am

silky - i know, that's why i'm glad i've got sons

free - don't worry, you have my permission to shoot him anyway

valdrane - sometimes that's easier

caress - feel free

2x - yeah no doubt, they do what they want anyway

dig - i'm sure she be just fine with a father like you

goddess - indeed

JJ -

36 - that's the point, its funny

fun - i only have sons, will pictures of me on a poll do instead?

weiner - nice touch

mary - i doubt whether i have the same accent

maggie - welcome to my blog, come back soon

saddle - feel free, and practice your aim in a zigzag pattern

amy - thanks, but I think you missed the 60 second deadline so watch out for that bird

expat - to fill in advance, so that you can just them over when you pick up your dates?

goddess - do i know your mother?

norprin - sorry, i got here as quickly as i could


rm_embwizard 51F
14 posts
11/28/2005 8:12 pm

loved the app. showed it to daughter shes gald i didnt see before she tuened 18.lol


RailBaron2 54M

11/28/2005 9:06 pm

Hey, Can i borrow the 2 guys with the violin cases? I'd like to make a couple of people an offer they can't refuse.


rm_captcha3 43F
35 posts
11/29/2005 11:52 am

JUST HAVE TO SAY THAT APPLICATION WILL BE USED NEXT YEAR WHEN MY DAUGHTER ENTERS INTO HIGH SCHOOL,ITS PERFECT MY HUSBAND LOVED IT.WE HAVE HAVE ANOTHER DAUGHTER WHO IS YOUNGER SO THE OLDEST IS SETTING THE EXAMPLE FOR HER SO HOPEFULY THEY BOTH WILL NOT GET A BOYFRIEND AFTER HE FINDS OUT HE HAS TO FILL OUT AN APPLICATION,DID U USE IT ON YOUR DAUGHTR,DID IT WORK


Efilnikufecin69 47M

11/30/2005 1:14 am

Oh, that is SO good! Where did you get that? I have already made about 100 kopies, and they WILL be put to use, but I have another 10 years before they are neccesary, or at least I hope so.


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