<font face="comic sans ms" size=5 color=green>5 More Stages of Drinking!</font></font></font>  

AlbertPrince 58M
4459 posts
10/17/2005 6:49 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

<font face="comic sans ms" size=5 color=green>5 More Stages of Drinking!</font></font></font>

Stage 1 ‒ Clever
This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course, the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are CLEVER.

Stage 2 ‒ Good Looking
This is when you realise that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger, knowing that they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still CLEVER, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 ‒ Rich
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course you're still CLEVER, so naturally, you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because you are now the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 ‒ Bullet Proof
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them to a battle of the wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle, because you are CLEVER, you're RICH and Hell - you're better looking than them anyway!

Stage 5 ‒ Invisible
This is the final stage of Drunkenness. At this point you can do anything, because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU, You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You can also snog the face off them because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still CLEVER you know ALL the words.

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
10/17/2005 4:19 pm

Thank you for reminding me why I no longer drink

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
10/17/2005 6:43 pm

Stage 6 - Bathroom Floor.
That is when you are so hot and drunk that you roll around on the bathroom floor to try and find a cool spot.

digdug41 49M

10/17/2005 6:59 pm

I'm with wahine on that one

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

lifeisablast333 54M

10/17/2005 7:11 pm

there is a stage 6, that is when you become retarded enough to start fxxking with the police, just for fun..........the redneck

jack20061 51M

10/17/2005 7:29 pm

Where does snot slinging drunk come in?

mangomamiCT 42F

10/17/2005 8:48 pm


FunandFrisky79 41M/37F

10/17/2005 9:40 pm

LMAO! I'm going to have to remember these the next time I go drinking!

Then again, I'm ALWAYS clever, bullet-proof, and the best looking! Hell, who needs to drink! (Who am I kidding?? I DO!!) lol

Now, if I could just find a way to become rich! (& invisible. People always see me act a fool!) Hmmmm...


tillerbabe 56F

10/17/2005 11:33 pm


This is the {size 4]"SPRINKLER STAGE"
Where the Police (after finding you "rolling around' on the bathroom floor at Jack in The Box)...call the Fire Department - you SPEW on my boots and I call you a "STOOPID MOTHERFUCKER" and send you by ambulance to De-tox. (after 18 years....the compassion wanes..)

AlbertPrince 58M

10/19/2005 12:31 am

wahine - which is, of course, better than not being able to remember, like me.

saint - let's hope that's before you throw up all over the bathroom floor.

dig - and you do right, keep with it.

redneck - yes but they usually do it back.

jack - he usually creeps up on you when you least expect it.

mango -

fun - maybe if you started with invisible, rich might not be so difficult?

rudder - do I detect a little intolerance?

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