|Blogs > Alannc4900 > My Notepad|
For those who liked the cat story ....
For those who liked the cat story ....
I decided to let the cats out of their room today, so they could get some exercise around the house. So the dog is put in his room (yes, they have their own rooms), close the door, put boxes in front of the door so the cats can't tease him (which they will do). The cats come out and are out about an hour. I'm getting ready to come to the office, so I put the cats back in their room.
Wife, who is leaving also, decides the dog needs to be let out. The dog's normal routine after the cats have been out is to run like damn madman all over the house hunting cats. He does that; after the normal 10 minutes or so, he calms down. Instead of going and laying down somewhere, he walks up to the wife and pees on her new carpet right in front of her ... looking right at her.
From downstairs, I hear screaming and banging and running ... and I thought someone or something valuable had been hurt. I go up ... wife tells me what happened, puts a papertowel over the spot and leaves.
Now, I've heard that you have to catch a dog in the act - you can't punish them later because they don't remember what they did. Not this dog ... he always remembers.
He's not completely brilliant tho. When I find something he's done, I'll call him. He comes running "oh goody play time ... " but when he gets where he can see what he has done, it's like watching a cartoon dog ... all four legs go out in front of him like he's putting on the brakes. He screeches to a halt, turns and runs and hides in his room.
That's what he did today. So I go up to his room, get him by the scruff of the neck and start leading him back down. The damn dog drops to the floor and rolls over on his back. What the hell? I'm not going to drag him! And how the hell did he figure that out? (This was only the second time I'd ever grabbed him by the back of his neck).
Well, I sure as hell am not going be outwitted by a damn dog. I go downstairs, get his leash and start to go get him.
I swear the dog is on alternating current ... smart then stupid then smart. He hears the leash and comes running. Did he really think that since he'd tricked me upstairs a minute ago, I was going to reward him with a walk?
I put the leash on him ... and he's bopping along all happy ... until we come around a chair and he sees the pee spot. He slams on those brakes, hits reverse and to his surprise, he goes nowhere ...
I discipline him and at this point, I'm feeling real good about myself cuz I'd outsmarted a moronic dog, right up until I realized - Hell, I'm the only one there to clean up.
So, for those of you keeping score at home, at my house this morning, the Wife is leading the "smart race", with the damn dog and I vying for a distant second.
If there's anything I hate worse than being outsmarted by a dog, it's being outsmarted by a woman, ESPECIALLY the wife.
Prior to disciplining the dog ... I did think about why he pee'd. (holy crap, this is what my life has become? I'm THINKING ABOUT a dog peeing?). Anyway, I don't think he was marking his territory, or he'd have done it where the cats had been. If he'd just gotten excited, he'd have dribbled all over or would have gone at a random spot in his madman run. But no, he'd finished the round the house tear, and walked right up to the wife and pee'd, while looking at her.
It's gotten real dim, but I can vaguely remember the idea that living quietly in an empty nest, would be quiet ... and empty.
9/9/2006 11:19 am
I can soooo relate, with my houseful of kids, dog, cats. Luckily the kids know a condition of living here is not to pee on the carpet......|
9/9/2006 11:38 am
(holy crap, this is what my life has become? I'm THINKING ABOUT a dog peeing?). |
I'm sorry, dude, but that's just hysterical. I'm no dog person by any measure--has to do with the stupidity and submissiveness thing--but poor little idiot. I can just see him, blue eyes shiny, "La dee da, the Man's gonna take me for walkees! Hooray!" Huskies can be dumber than a bag of rocks, but at least they're enthusiastic about it.
So how many days has it been Wild Kingdom now? And any ETA on when the offspring will take the animals off your hands?
9/9/2006 1:09 pm
I adore submissive. . .being a Dominant sort of woman. Just not in the animals who live under my roof. Of course, the minute a guy does the roll over and pee on himself in my condo, or worse. . .just lets it fly on the carpet while looking right at me. . .well. . .you'll be seeing my face all over CNN and Fox News afterward, promise. "Yes, that's when I shot is dull ass, Your Honor."|
Of course, you could always make up animal stories. . .but they'd never be as amusing as the things these furry guys/gals do in reality. Sounds like Anger-Management-Deficient-Lady has a lot in common with the Bitch Queen of the Galaxy. No, NOT me. . .Yoko the Siamese Psycho.