Why do Cheating spouses want to make hard for real Swingers  

ActiveCplSeeking 41M/53F
17 posts
7/26/2005 6:51 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why do Cheating spouses want to make hard for real Swingers


Let me throw this one out there. A male either trying to pass off being single or trying to make you believe that their *other half* no longer plays (or never played) but allows them to do so.... Then later discover that is not the case and ...guess what?.... you got a hurt and angry person after YOU... Why?... their other half is the one that first told a lie... they tricked the couple or single person into playing .... they chose to cheat, you had not forced them! So why is the *other half* only angry at the other party involved??? This has never failed to amaze me! I guess as a couple and long time swingers we have become very careful as to whom we actually play with. Granted the other people can tell you what ever they want in the words they type to you. But, when you actually meet them in person you can read them better and have a better feel of the things they tell you. I guess you can tell we have come across situations like these and one really recent. After a public meeting I knew that I was very uncomfortable for a reason.... Most of what he had said about his spouse was not the case. I understood that fact after receiving a bit of threatening formed email. I knew that after speaking with him in person that he would be leaving alone and would never be on my *play list*.... In this lifestyle you have to require honest and open communication with your spouse in order for happiness and calm to be in your swinging relationship and in your marriage. So what do you think? Think we are being too picky? Or does the *better to be safe than sorry* apply?

ANewLevel4Us 38M/37F

7/26/2005 8:02 pm

After going through this in our own relationship... I have a thought. I don't know why the other half would be pissed at you. You didn't know. You take someone's word as truth, so you both were lied to and it is not YOUR fault, or theirs. It is the person doing the lying. Sometimes, though, people are rather immature and they don't think it through completely and want to be mad at everyone.

In my experience, I was not mad at the other woman at all. I placed blame where it should be, on him. She was lied to, and didn't know anything about me really. That is HIS fault, not hers. The only time I did get upset with her was when she refused to talk to me at all. I wanted to know what he was telling her, and to confirm the things he told me about their relationship... and she flat out refused to talk to me. That kind of ticked me off. But then again, it says a lot for her, and a lot for me as a person. So, whatever.


Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

7/26/2005 10:00 pm

Well it is easier for the hurt spouse to lesson the blow by finding fault with the others. It is over load to think their spouse cheated.


BATTO4 56M
1 post
7/26/2005 10:12 pm

MY MORALLY GROTESQUE EX COULD NOT KEEP HER LEGS TOGETHER FOR THE LAST 2 - 3 YEARS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP AND LIED ALL THE TIME THAT SHE WAS STAYING WITH GIRL FRIENDS. I WAS NEVER ANGRY AT THE PEOPLE SHE SLEPT WITH - I WAS ANGRY WITH HER CAUSE SHE DID NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT IT AND DID NOT CONSIDER THE KIDS AND HOW IT WOULD AFFECT THEM. SOME PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD JUST HAVE NO BRAINS AND NO MORALS


rm_pgn_man 39M
82 posts
7/26/2005 10:14 pm

Intersting to see this side of the swinger lifestyle...

My wife has no interest in joining me (see my blog for details), but is interested in being introduced to the people who I meet here (curiosity, friendship). We see this as a healthy attitude, and necessary.

I do accept that as a married man I have more problems meeting people here if I do not exist as a couple, but I accept that challenge.

Cheers!
pgn_man


wyvernrose 38F
3895 posts
7/26/2005 10:37 pm

better safe than sorry I know exactly what your talking about as have been there before....

WyvernRose


ActiveCplSeeking 41M/53F

8/1/2005 3:11 am

Hey PGN_Man,
see that would be a good situation because your other half would want to meet those you play with. that sort of thing we can deal with and would like to have it that way. But see not all will do that. couples like you are few and far between..... thanks for reminding me of that.


sexedcravednemph 35M/31F
260 posts
10/7/2005 5:00 pm

Better safe than sorry for sure. Alot of married men do this on this site for some reason. If the wife isnt interested or involved then we choose to JUST SAY NO lol As for the wife being angry with you.....theres no telling what her old man told her and she probably doesnt want to face the fact that he came to you. She sounds a little nauive. It is however very messed up that people who call themselves swingers are just disillusioned cheaters. I have no respect for people like that.


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