Absurdaholic 47M
23 posts
9/2/2006 7:42 pm

Last Read:
9/24/2006 7:39 pm


So, here I am taking a week off from work (my only time off in about two years) and it's anything but relaxing.

I'm spending an awkward, tense week in the same house as my wife. I've been bouncing around friends houses for months and I may have my own plave in about sixty days. It's a struggle to get things in order and pack my belongings . It's real tough because she loves me and she won't accept that this marriage isn't going to work out. Nights are the worst and I feel pretty lost. There seems to be no way to do this without causing someone hurt. Everybody loses somehow.

The plus side is I get to see my son all week. Thank God for that amazing guy! But I know the stress is taking it's toll on him too and I feel guilt.

I'm doing what I have to though. When the plane goes down they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first before you assist anyone else. I'm getting my mask on. I'm escaping from this madhouse so that I can remain sane and loving to my boy.

This is a time for new starts. It's a little scary, but I've felt lonely and neglected for too long. I won't be a prisoner to someone else's emotional disorders any longer.

Now I'm looking down a new path, and I hope there are companions to meet along the way. Friends, guides, lovers, maybe all of the above in one?

I'm not a gloom and doom type of guy. There's a spring in my step as I set out.

Look out!

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
9/2/2006 8:26 pm

Welcome to blogging...I know how you must feel, as I am going thru a divorce too. While difficult, when you know, as I did, that it is the right decision...it will get better with time.
Enjoy the time with your son and good luck to you.

Hydragenias 56F

9/2/2006 8:30 pm

Welcome to Blogaritaville!

please click here: [post 485524]

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
9/2/2006 8:32 pm

Good Luck

keep reassuring him of your love for him...

Absurdaholic 47M

9/3/2006 1:42 pm

Thanks for the comments and support.

The separation is necssary, it's just heartbreaking because despite the love my wife has for me, I know she'll never change, and ten years is too long to watch someone with a personality disorder implode.

I'll always love her, but there are no feelings of attraction or romance left. She's like the highly over-emotional and self destructive younger sister I never had. I can't be locked into a sexless, joyless mess like this or I can't be the man my son needs me to be.

It'll all work itself out in time. I'm optomistic. Right now I want to feel attractive and desired again, and it's been a loooong time. Here's to postive new directions!

Become a member to create a blog