Good sex.... Or Bad sex?  

AMBER_NEKTAR 35F
1043 posts
4/4/2006 10:00 am

Last Read:
7/19/2006 5:36 pm

Good sex.... Or Bad sex?

I have a dilemma...
Well im sorta in a quandry more than a dillemma..

Say you have really REALLY really good sex with someone, but you dont find their personality quite clicks with yours... and your not that attracted to them... is that good sex or bad sex?

Then, say you have average to not so good sex, but you really get along with the person, and you find them really attractive... is THAT good sex or bad sex??

And why is it that the person you want to stay for hours and talk to and kiss and get up to more mischeif with later, wants to leave and you never hear from them again....

and the one you want to get off you get dressed and fuck off just never seems to leave and hounds you for weeks and weeks after to meet again??

Arghhh bloody irony!


Fletch8491 50M

4/4/2006 11:18 am

In my experience the better sex is when you have more than just a physical connection with someone. Remember the mind is the largest sexual organ and errogenous zone. It depends on what it takes to fulfil you. While intense physical sex may be fulfilling for those few moments, it is what happens in between that should truly define fulfillment. The challenge is to find someone that does it for you on all levels. Of course, that doesn't stop us from pursuing that great one night stand with the person that is so wrong for us...lol.


AussieCuckold 53M/41F

4/5/2006 2:51 pm

Murphy's Law raising its ugly head again........you will meet him one day, your still a spring chicken......and a cute one too
Mat


BeYourFantasy25 36M
4 posts
4/6/2006 12:49 am

Yes yes, what you say is true! ...most of the time.

But when you find that one that is everything won't it be all that more special??


AussieCuckold 53M/41F

4/6/2006 4:20 am

Just think, the more men you fuck, the closer you will be to finding him/her.

Keep fucking *wink*

Beckie


AMBER_NEKTAR 35F

4/6/2006 10:56 am

Ahhh yeah, i guess i will just have to keep kissing a few more toads!


rm_Suitable1960 56M
5 posts
5/8/2006 10:43 pm

May I say that you seem to 'have a handle on things' and it looks as though you know what you're doing. Question for you grasshopper. Who do you like to be with? And not just for rooting!! Who makes you feel 'nice'? This question answered and sex takes second place!! Until you can 'honestly' answer that question, keep on rooting!!


KaliforYadreamin 44M
33 posts
5/11/2006 3:24 am

Hey Amber
Smile, that all sounds like a rich, diverse compelling kinda sex life to me. You've gotta love it. Obviously you want more of the first 3 kids of lovin in your life, & ditchin the last kind ASAP.

In the last case U can fake havin to get up & pee.Then shower or get dressed. Its too easy.Be courteous & kind, especially if the guy wants to go again now or hook up later. A gentle let down will still give U a win win outcome. Really its largely about respect, & U don't want to compromise your own dignity.

U may try using the phrase: "Well that was a great night, but some moments just can't be re-created. Yeah, they just can't. U know the 2001 Grand Final, man 1st walking on the moon, women getting the vote. Monumental occasions, but not repeatable.Been there done that. Oh & the clincher of course is explaining that U R an explorer - Always looking for the next new frontier." They will get the message. Just repeat it a few times so it sinks in.

Scenario's 1 & 2 , are opposites seen thru the mirror of personality. The 1st a great opportunity to enjoy good sex & learn a few new moves. Bring that to your next scenario2 encounter. Give your "personality guy" some tips & enjoy his peronality while he's sexing you up. You can always just hangout & do stuff when UR not Boinking.

Like Fletch says, this is a great chance for that xtra connection. Its much more fun to spend good time, both in & out of bed, with someone when U can make that connection.

Scenario 3 is another ripper, because from what U hav said it seems like U are keen to engage UR lover on a level other than sex, & so keep them coming back.

Take the plunge, say: "Hey lets talk, I am really interested in what U hav to say". This is a great test because it allows him to stay or go. The way he does that will tell U heaps about him in just a few sentences, because if diplomacy isn't there then its probably not gonna turn up anytime soon.

Don't fear rejection, You will grow in leaps & bounds & get super comfortable with yourself real quick & move on to much more interesting quality talent per Mat & Beckies recommedations.Keep looking, until he or they turn up.

My friend Sandy back in uni is interested in this guy Rick. They keep ending up at the same functions, the pub, bands, some classes, but 1 or both are always with somebody else. They are friendly but thats all. Finally they get together for a night of passion.He hits the bed 1st & watches her getting undressed, she turns away & takes her bra off then bends down to rev him up while taking her panties off, & giv him that view that all guys love.

She turns back to slip under the covers & notes the expression of disappointment on his face. Yeah Rick is not thrilled with her plump C cup breasts. He confides that he thought she was a D or DD with that athletic body always looking so good in her clothes.

Yeah Rick is a dead shit but Sandy wasted 9 months working out Rick was a tit man. Heelloo.

A toad is a toad is a toad. Move on and find yourself a tiger, one that knows what side his bread is buttered on.

Happy Hunting.

Kali



YuMeAnTheShadows 49M

5/31/2006 5:57 am

Hi Amber!
I told you of my derth of experience, but believe it or not my one-nighter wwas with a crazy woman (I had though her strange speech was a function of her less than full command of the engllish language at first. She had immigrated some years before from Greece. She had a beautiful accent thatt made it hard to make out what word she wwas pronouncing. Like many communities of recent immigrants, Greeks through their families (and for greeks their churches too) have a lot of regular contact with other greek immigrant families, and even their American (and I imagine British) born children (aged birth to adult). So a lot of the time they are speaking greek rather than english and every time people from another land speak with their fellow countryMenandWomen they reinforce their own accents so hers hadn't faded taken on more American qualities and weakened many of its greek qualities the way a person who lives in isolation in a new country would have adopted much of the new countries accent.

I'm sorry I think I lost the thread of my thought for a while. If you find it, you can use it in one of your art projects. Back to the thrust of things I had fantastic sex with that woman, but I knew I wanted to get out of there so soon afterward. She pestered me for a while. It turned out she was un or under medicated and had a serious mental illness. She had three children all removed from her care by the state and place in foster care because she was deemed unable to provide for their needs and protect them from harms like inviting men she's never met before in after the kids would have been asleep. I didn't know about the kids until after the sex that is when she not only told me about them, but even expected me to become her Dedicated serious boyfriend right away and go with her to family court so she could show she was more able to provide the kind of home she was expected to. The actual sex was the best I have had. With my derth of experience I'll call it better sex.

The woman I was with three times, on the other hand was so afraid of both pregnancy and S.T.D.s that after her abusive marriage had ended, she didn't have sex until she met me and it took her time to be convinced I was really a virgin. Once she decided I was for real there was no time for a trip to the doctor for another birth control method. But her O.B./Gyn had told her that the best way to ensure a condom doesn't break is to liberally apply KY or similar to the man's penis before and after putting on the condom as well as to apply it liberally around her vaginal opening and finger depth inside. Let me tell you for a guy who has only fucked two women, and only done the act a total of 7 or 8 times I still feel like a record holder for how long I could go with her. I felt very little friction, if any at all. I couldn't feel any vaginal muscle tension around my dick. So I just kept going. (Do they have Energizer Bunny Adverts for Energizer batteries in the U.K.?) If they do you already know what I mean by that. The way things worked with us was that she was pretty uncomfortable with oral sex (and divorce - a divorced woman uncomfortable with divorce I know - and talking about things sexual) because of her strict Roman Catholic school education and conservative Roman Catholic family) so we kissed, cuddled, and caressed for foreplay. Thankfully her wonderful little breasts were not off limits. Once in those three sessions she briefly took my penis in her mouth just for a second or two so I would kno what it felt like. Not that that is how it felt at all when the Greek woman did it or when another woman I dated for a couple months did it once. So back to the Catholic School Girl all grown up, conflicted, and uptight about sex. We could honestly fuck so long I have no earthly idea ho long it was each time bu she kep adding mor lube to the mix and I was harder than I'd been in all my life and we always kept going until my balls hurt so badly and my erection would go down for the longest time after we'd stopped. believe it or not on the second and third times she came over for sex, I managed to persuade he to let me try licking her pussy because Ireally wanted to know what was like and I liked it once I'd tried it. So in between fucks, with my untiring eraction and aching balls I was licking her pussy as much as she would let me adn she got more comfortable with that and began telling me how she liked me to do it for her greatest pleasure. I was happy to oblige. I never had an orgasm with this woman and my nuts hurt so deep down inside, I even thing the tubes or plumbing connected to my nuts was giving me great pain so a manual release was not an option. I won't say that this sex was bad. I don't have the experience to know. But I must say this sex was worse sex.

As to your questions, I think you are confusing good and bad relationships, like the firendship, companionship, and romance aspects of the relationship with the actual sex acts. Good sex is widely understood to mean that the sex acts were very plearuable and satisfyiing (for both partners among more liberal thinkers like me, but for the person speaking about their sexual experience) to many. Bad sex is the opposite. It is unsatisfying, possibly painful, certainly not high on the pleasure scale.

You may have turned away a good guy for you already based on his sexual perfomance. You see, just as this woman who left me in such pain every time taught me how she most enjoyed to have her pussy licked just a certain way, you can help one of the guys you really click with and feel so compatible and comfortable with to learn what and how the different se acts feel good to you. Just as he might have some pointers from his past experience about how you might do something differently because it feels better to him. Neither of you would be teaching the other to be a better lover in any universal sense. Rather, you'd both (stray thought-nope I'm back) be making each other more compatible, more in tune with one another and better lovers for each other. I can't promis all the guys you have turned away reluctantly because of their sexual performance or lack of it would have successfully completed the conversion or training process and become a good lover for you. I can only say give it a try next time. It sometimes works. And, I for one, think that lovers should have very open communication about sex. Even with someone who nails it right the first time, if you are going to keep the fires of lust, desire, and passion going over any substantial period of time your going to have to avoid it becoming routine, boring or humdrum. To do that will require changes and growth, and experimentation, and open communication about those things!

My stray though before is that I have written all of these responses so far to your blog filled with American contractions. I do not (almost did it again) know if it is still true but I remember learing in school that Standard written English (the language not the nationality) was different in America than in the U.K. because we make con tractions like "Don't" for do not and "I'll" for I will and some less obvious ons like "it's" which I still get confused and not only am I 38, I have an I.Q. score that is in the 99th percentile. we use both "its" and "it's". Normally when we put an "'s" after somethi that is not a contraction. I'm sure you do it to. You might say, "Kent's last response to my blog was especially long." Yes, I am aware! You would mean the same thing I would mean if I said, "Amber's blog has really piqued my interest." We would ("We'd") both be indicating posession. Here is ("here's") where American English is rediculous "its" without an appostrophe means that your referred to something posessed by it. "it's" with an apostrophe is a contraction which save exactly one character. "it's" is Ameican English for "It is. Wouldn't ("would not") it make more sense to have to contraction for "It is" than to have so confusing an exception to the normal rule that "'s" indicates posession. Imagine (if you still share a flat with Gary) that your in the tub and he yell's out "have you seen my mobile's (or would he say "Mobile phone's") charger. You might yell back it was laying on the couch when I was tidying up to entertain so I moved it. I think it's in the cupboard!" Well in England, (Wales, Scotland, and Ulster too) that might be correct spelling because you would be applying the "'s" means posession rule just as Gary had put "s on the end of Mobile or phone. Here your reply would be written " ... I think its in the cupboard!"

I am sleep deprived but not tired. I think I had finished responding to your posting before I explained my stray though about all the contractions I have written in responses to you. so I am going to risk that my memory is still accurate and click the send button.

Keep up the posts. You are both thought provoking and entertaining. Oops, did I forget to mention that you are intriguing too. I'll check back in when I have had more sleep. See you.

Kent (I've given that away, wy use KP?)


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