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Its another lazy Sunday.
Cleaning and re-organising my CDs and racks, I came upon Depeche Mode. One of my favourite group which I have almost forgotten.
I used to listen to it everyday, when I was sad and depressed. I guess that depressive feeling is not there now, or maybe I have tried to put it behind my mind and carry one with life. Many events had happened during my teenage through early twenties. A lost person I can say. I did not even know that I was depressed til I started to read Psychology. By that time, I have already overcome the feeling. It could be denial because it has never been resolved. I just place it back there and carry on with my life.
Now as I listen to Depeche Mode again.
I questioned myself.
Have I really accept the fact that certain things happened and just gotta leave it there and cannot be changed anymore?
I think I have to.
Accepting and not denying.
by Depeche Mode
I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear of
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it
4/24/2006 5:40 am
Thanks for the encouragement.|
The SOMEBODY here is actually my mother who had passed away for 15 years.
It is no point dwelling about the past and regretting for the unspent time which we did not get from each other.
Still once in awhile, I would ponder about my relationship with her, if she is still alive.
We had never been that close which I thought I want to make an effort to be closer.
As I reached the age when I realised that I wanted to do it, it was already too late.
She just collasped one day and died within a month, all too sudden for me to remember.
I thought I was going to be all right.
I thought I could brave through the emotions.
I did not even cry at the funeral.
I guess I was not that close to her at that time.
So after that, my life was kinda miserable.
If I could know how much she love me and I do love her.
If I could hear what she really want to tell me and I have many things to tell her.
So whenever I hear this song, the "she" in the song just reminds me of her.
4/23/2006 5:49 pm
Often remember past is good, at least it is can comfort youself.|
4/23/2006 1:35 am
Accepting and not denying.|
Glad that you have made peace with yourself. Well... it's always good to have that somebody, but even if that somebody is lost and cannot be found... at least we still have [bb]ourselves.
Me stressed... it is ONLY ourselves that we can made happy, can't always depend on others to do so.
Last but not least.... HUG HUG. Hope you enjoy your Sunday!
4/22/2006 11:35 pm
Wow powerfull blog. I like it. Hey i was born in 1971 as well. We are at this point where we know everything but can change nothing. I love to watch the world go by. Keep listening to mode they are great.|