Aren't we all searching for the same thing?  

69PassionFire 60F
3 posts
7/30/2006 7:16 pm

Last Read:
8/2/2006 2:41 pm

Aren't we all searching for the same thing?


Why are any of us on AdultFriendFinder? The truth now, the real truth! Sometimes it's hard to see the truth in ourselves or maybe hard to admit the truth to ourselves.
We are all looking for that most basic human need...TO BE LOVED!! But the word itself can be very confusing. In this perspective, most equate LOVE with SEX. But the two are so far removed from each other, it's almost funny. But that's the way of humans, if we find that man desireable and the sex is good or great, or if that woman has a body to die for, we soon feel that we're "in love" when all it really is, is LUST, SEXUAL ATTRACTION! Now don't get me wrong, I think SEX is about the greatest thing that God ever created, but when we equate SEX with LOVE, we are way off base. If we are "wanted' sexually we feel "loved." And that is what we all want is TO BE LOVED! But those bells, whistles and firecracker feelings only last for about a maximum of 2 years, most of the time much less. So then we know we're not"in love" with the other person anymore. The newness, the strange, the fireworks have dwindled and there really isn't anything more, and never was.
The LOVE we all search for and dream about can only come from the heart, the very soul of each of us. It's not immediate or "love at first sight," that again is the LUST, SEXUAL ATTRACTION telling our minds that it is . I think if we are honest with ourselves, in the end, the SEX leaves us feeling empty and degraded, maybe not right away, but afterwards. Yes, even you men.
In truth, TRUE LOVE, the kind that is REAL and LASTING, comes much slower and can't be rushed. It really has to start out as friendship, a friendship that grows, that has ups and downs, that has sun and shadows, but, like the oak, withstands all the storms. REAL, LASTING LOVE puts the other person first, before ourselves. We have the desire to build up, to affirm, to uplift, to encourage the other person. It makes us see the other point of view, and gives us the ability and desire to compromise and make concessions. We don't stop our life for the other person, we just incorporate our lives together. We soon learn that appreciating and encouraging the other builds us up and affirms us too, even though that isn't what we were looking for. In essence, when we can LOVE in this manner, unconditionally, all that we give will be returned, maybe not always in the way we want or imagine, but fulfilling all the same. Then is when the SEX truly becomes MAKING LOVE. We aren't out to prove what a "GREAT LOVER" we are, the real, lasting love between the 2 persons makes us great lovers. It is not only the coming together of bodies but of hearts, souls and minds. This is just a bit of what REAL,LASTING, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is.

goodandevil00 42M

8/1/2006 5:07 pm

Well worded. Great insights that most of us ponder, but don't always articulate to others. Love does take many forms, and guess that ultimately, we are all searching for it on this site.

Keep questioning...


69PassionFire 60F
1 post
8/1/2006 7:39 pm

Thank you for your comment, it was insightful. Have any of you ever experieinced the real, lasting love that I spoke of earlier? It's the kind that fills and overflows from the heart and mere words seem insufficient to describe it. It gives and gives and asks nothing in return. I guess that is part of the "unconditional," along with acceptance, dedication and devotion to each other and the relationship itself.
Your comments are welcomed and appreciated. Thank you.


goodandevil00 42M

8/2/2006 5:59 am

Yes, I did when I met my wife. Do I still feel like that? Somedays, yes. I get the feeling after studying humanity that I'm not totally sold on two people being together forever--I don't think it's good for the soul.


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