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Blogs > bestfriend2156 > My Blog

Good Guys vs Bad Boys  

bestfriend2156 68M
75 posts
8/24/2016 12:41 pm
Good Guys vs Bad Boys

I suppose for most it's just a matter of taste. But is often seems like the larger number of women prefer the bad boy type. The danger. The excitement. Whatever it is that is the attraction.

But I wonder if those of us who at least try to be the good guys are at a disadvantage. It has been sort of true for me going all the way back to high school. I made a point of trying to be supportive, caring and thoughtful with all of the girls I knew. When I would ask one out, more often than not the answer would be "we're such good friends, let's not ruin it." I was always told that the girls would outgrow this and eventually see the value in someone who tried to be "good" and do the right thing.

As I have matured (aged?) that hasn't really been true. As a matter of fact, in too may cases being the good guy has me stabbed in the back. Several friends of mine have had the same experiences.

So, I think more than anything today, I would like to get your input on this phenomenon. Guys - have you had this experience? Ladies- which do you prefer? Just thought it would be an interesting discussion.

bestfriend2156 68M
840 posts
8/24/2016 12:42 pm

 Do good guys finish last?


Not_here2meet 55F
3843 posts
8/24/2016 12:51 pm

 Alrighty then, you ask...I'm gonna answer. And, remember, I'm a wordy, wordy woman who writes a lot to say a little.

Personally, I have "chased" both types of men. Oh yes, I"m sure you may already know this about me, but I"m a big ole recovering nymphomaniac. And, that's not to say I didn't have relationships where I remained monogamous to a partner. Nope, I actually married the first "good guy" I met when I was eighteen.

He was in the army, and was a go getter back then. But, things changed, and life changed us both. Soon, he was selfish, and I was selfish, and we didn't work together to "water our love".

Today, I don't see him as a bad guy at all. Sure, we don't speak, too much stuff has gone down, and our lives just grew in different directions. It's okay, I've realized that life is about what you do with it while you're here...the past matters very little except when you can learn from it.

Anyway, like I said, I...also...went for the "bad guys". This was after this marriage had ended. I had to try that far too many times before I realized how little I meant to them. And, I went back to the "good guys" again.

Then, back to the bad

Then, back to the good

See a pattern?

The problem is that you can't label anyone bad or good. It's that we are all different in wonderful ways. And, some of us, aren't compatible or we grow into incompatibility because of life changes and failure to communicate our needs and wants in a clear manner.

Capiche?

Happy Wednesday
Live life to it's fullest!

If you're bored, Read
Hugs
Gypsy


nicelipss66 47F
24236 posts
8/24/2016 1:07 pm

 I like him to be a good guy in the streets, but a freak bad boy under the sheets happyf;>>!


bestfriend2156 replies on 8/24/2016 1:17 pm:
That works for me!

northshoretake2 50M  
1626 posts
8/24/2016 1:48 pm

 IME the problem with many "good guys" is that they really aren't all that good.

If you do nice things for others with the expectation of payback, then you haven't done anything charitable or noteworthy. If you felt "stabbed in the back" because someone didn't appreciate your faux generosity, then you missed the point.

A truly "good guy" does good deeds without expecting payback. That's right, he is naturally altruistic. It's his nature and he doesn't do favors to get things in return. He does them because he has no choice and doesn't complain if his acts are unappreciated.

Often men mistake doing favors or kissing up (for lack of a better word) as demonstration of their goodness. What women see is weakness, manipulation and passive-aggressive nonsense. It lacks one huge quality that most women admire: HONESTY

Maybe what it comes down to is that bad boys are simply more honest and authentic.
Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have.


positively4you 74F  
4605 posts
8/24/2016 3:08 pm

 Give me a good guy any day. The bad ones will only make your life difficult.


sweet_VM 65F
81699 posts
8/24/2016 9:24 pm

 Good or bad is always good! hugss V
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