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superscrthandle 43F
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Allure_1971 45M

5/12/2005 5:26 am

A Time Comes In Your Life

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the
midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your
tracks, and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ~

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like
a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to
subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears,
and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the
world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for
something to change or for happiness, safety and security to
come galloping over the next horizon.

You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming
and you are not Cinderella.

And you realize in the real world there aren't always fairy
tale endings (or beginnings for that matter), and that any
guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you; and in
the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you're not perfect, that not
everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or
what you are, and that's okay. (They're entitled to their own
views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and
championing yourself; and in the process a sense of newfound
confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things
they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the
only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean
what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for
you; and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand
on your own, and to take care of yourself and in the process, a
sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept
people as they are, and to overlook their shortcomings and
human frailties; and in the process, a sense of peace and
contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the
world around you is as a result of all the messages and
opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin
to sift through all that you've been fed about how you should
behave, how you should look, and how much you should weigh;
what you should wear and where you should shop, and what you
should drive; how and where you should live, and what you
should do for a living; who you should sleep with, who you
should marry, and what you should expect of a marriage; the
importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of
view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and
what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you
begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or
should never have bought into to begin with; and in the process
you learn to go with your instincts.

You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that
there is power and glory in creating and contributing; and you
stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking
for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not
the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds
together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to
save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.

You learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility, and
the importance of setting boundaries, and learning to say NO.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to
carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn
about love. Romantic love and the familial love. How to love,
how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk
away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto
a relationship.

You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more
intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man or
woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not
as you would have them be.

You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with
love and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love
on your terms just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone
does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that
you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10, and you stop trying
to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over
how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside,
smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that
feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. And that it is your
right to want things and to ask for the things that you want
and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with
love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect; and you won't settle
for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who
cherishes you to glorify you with his/her touch and in the
process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple, and you
begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin
eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more
time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit
and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest.
And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So
you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you
believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a
self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for,
and that wishing for something to happen is different from
working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn
that in order to achieve success you need direction,
discipline, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK
to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great
robber baron of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to step right
into and through your fears because you know that whatever
happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give
away the right to live life on your terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it
living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get
what you think you deserve; and that sometimes-bad things
happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you
learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't
punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state ~ the
ego. You learn negative feelings such as anger, envy and
resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will
suffocate the life out of you, and poison the universe that
surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges
instead of walls.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the
simple things we take for granted, things that millions of
people upon the earth can only dream about: a full
refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by
yourself; and you make yourself a promise to never betray
yourself and to never settle for less than your heart's desire.

And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen
to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, keep
trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with Spirit by your
side you take a stand; you take a deep breath, and you begin to
design the life that you want to live as best as you can.

Superscrthandle, I hope something in there that will give you some answers.

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