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^^^ Sexy Jokes to start the weekend
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^^^ Sexy Jokes to start the weekend  ) . I enjoy a sexy joke now and again. What better day to be cheeky and naughty than Friday? Well, to be honest any day is good for cheeky and naughty, but lets go with the Friday idea . Do you enjoy them? Are they offensive to you? Have you any you would like to share with us?         ]image10]  |
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They are good. Here are a couple more Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in! A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?" Q: How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her.
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Those last 2 jokes are sending me off to work laughing. Doesn't get much better than that! Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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They are good. Here are a couple more Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in! A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?" Q: How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? A: Call her and tell her. [image]
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Those last 2 jokes are sending me off to work laughing. Doesn't get much better than that! [image]
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great jokes and photos! [image] “Life is available only in the present moment.” Thich Nhat Hanh Come and read my blog! Become a watcher! veryfunnycple64 
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 Very good.  [image]
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lol! the last one is the best(and most true)
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#$%^&*() Site ate the pics. Reposted. Sorry if not the same as the original
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great jokes and photos! [image] [image]
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Very good. [image] [image]
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lol! the last one is the best(and most true) [image]
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 . See if they stay now.[image]
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My best and favourite would be the following... Q: What did one ovary say to the other ovary? A: I think there's gonna be a party downstairs... I just spotted two nuts trying to push an organ up the passage. . Thank you for sharingQ: Why does Dr. Pepper come (cum) in a bottle? A: Because his wife died! Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego...? A: "Is it in?" Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? A: Liquor in the front and poker in the back!
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Sure do enjoy them. Always good to have a laugh or two. Makes my day hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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PS once I am finished work today will be back to post something funny to you Pal hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Sure do enjoy them. Always good to have a laugh or two. Makes my day hugs V  [image]
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PS once I am finished work today will be back to post something funny to you Pal hugs V [image]
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lol! the last one is the best(and most true) 
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Pal, oh yes great blog and here's one I saw today..love it.. have a great Friday.. Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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Pal, oh yes great blog and here's one I saw today..love it.. have a great Friday..[image]
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. It is always good to read twice. That joke is hilarious thank you [image]
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I love to see good jokes and cartoons on here. Have a great weekend Pal. [image]
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I got tied up at work all day.. Boy this part time job is sometimes turning into full time.. hugssssssssss V here is my joke for yesterday I wanted to post.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Here is another one.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Found one more thought you might like this one.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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HiYa Pal These are adorable!! 
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I am all done outside and did make it to the gym today.. Now I am back out again.. Here is your funny for Saturday hugssssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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I got tied up at work all day.. Boy this part time job is sometimes turning into full time.. hugssssssssss V here is my joke for yesterday I wanted to post.. . [image]
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Here is another one.. [image]
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Found one more thought you might like this one.. [image]
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HiYa Pal These are adorable!! [image]
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I am all done outside and did make it to the gym today.. Now I am back out again.. Here is your funny for Saturday hugssssssssssss V [image]
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Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A: The best ones squirt when you eat them. Q: Why is a vagina just like the weather? A: When it's wet, it's time to go inside
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Thanks for the Sunday morning chuckle!
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This post did very well for you Pal.. hugssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Got a chuckle outta me Thanks
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love the funny ones.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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I did get this one in today thought it was good! Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A: The best ones squirt when you eat them. Q: Why is a vagina just like the weather? A: When it's wet, it's time to go inside [image]
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Was looking to see what happened to this one.. finally found it! Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Thanks for the Sunday morning chuckle! [image]
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This post did very well for you Pal.. hugssssssssss V [image]
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Got a chuckle outta me Thanks[image]
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love the funny ones.. [image]
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I did get this one in today thought it was good! [image]
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Was looking to see what happened to this one.. finally found it!  [image]
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This post did very well for you Pal.. hugssssssssss V
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Q: What do you call ball's on your chin? A: A dick in your mouth! Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance? A: Women don't get blowjobs while they're driving. Q: What's the difference between pink and purple? A: The grip!
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Always up for some laughs Pal hugssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Found these funny.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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some good one here from other people Pal.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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That picture is way too true
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Q: What do you call ball's on your chin? A: A dick in your mouth! Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance? A: Women don't get blowjobs while they're driving. Q: What's the difference between pink and purple? A: The grip! [image]
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Always up for some laughs Pal hugssssss V [image]
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Found these funny.. [image]
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some good one here from other people Pal.. [image]
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Pros/Cons of a Threesome Advantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone can go for beer without interrupting the proceedings 3. There's always a hand or mouth free when you need one 4. Motel rooms split 3 ways are only $13 5. You get to watch your best friends making love 6. You get to get watched making love 7. Simultaneous enjoying intercourse and oral sex has to be experienced to be believed 8. You get strange looks when you all go out dancing 9. You get really strange looks when you all go out comparison shopping for condoms 10. Enough people to play gin rummy if things don't work out 11. You can safely check yourself for any homosexual tendencies without actually doing anything about it 12. Calling out the wrong name during climax isn't as much of a problem, the "wrong name" is probably the one on your left 13. Three-person showers are fantastic 14. Three-person naked belly laughs are even better 15. Three-person kisses are best
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Disadvantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Tougher for three people to decide on pizza toppings 3. Simultaneous orgasms are even trickier to pull off 4. You may harbor paranoid thoughts that while you're in the bathroom; the other two are giggling over the pimple on your butt 5. Trying to find safe places to put your elbows 6. You get to find out what kind of really sick things your friends like 7. Queen-sized beds are suddenly smaller than you remember them 8. Trying to fit 3 names in the little heart when drawing on your notebooks 9. Morning breath multiplied by 3 10. You might discover homosexual tendencies you didn't suspect or want 11. You might discover homosexual tendencies in one of your friends you didn't suspect or want 12. You have the option of wrecking twice the normal number of relationships 13. The odds of boyfriends/spouses walking in on you triple 14. Sorting clothes quickly when the significant other walks in assumes comical proportions 15. Now there are two wet spots to avoid.
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Happy Tuesday to you! Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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LMAO - good post!
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Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says: "What the fuck is your problem! I said I needed a hand saw!" The other guy says: "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"
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Pros/Cons of a Threesome Advantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone can go for beer without interrupting the proceedings 3. There's always a hand or mouth free when you need one 4. Motel rooms split 3 ways are only $13 5. You get to watch your best friends making love 6. You get to get watched making love 7. Simultaneous enjoying intercourse and oral sex has to be experienced to be believed 8. You get strange looks when you all go out dancing 9. You get really strange looks when you all go out comparison shopping for condoms 10. Enough people to play gin rummy if things don't work out 11. You can safely check yourself for any homosexual tendencies without actually doing anything about it 12. Calling out the wrong name during climax isn't as much of a problem, the "wrong name" is probably the one on your left 13. Three-person showers are fantastic 14. Three-person naked belly laughs are even better 15. Three-person kisses are best [image]
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Disadvantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Tougher for three people to decide on pizza toppings 3. Simultaneous orgasms are even trickier to pull off 4. You may harbor paranoid thoughts that while you're in the bathroom; the other two are giggling over the pimple on your butt 5. Trying to find safe places to put your elbows 6. You get to find out what kind of really sick things your friends like 7. Queen-sized beds are suddenly smaller than you remember them 8. Trying to fit 3 names in the little heart when drawing on your notebooks 9. Morning breath multiplied by 3 10. You might discover homosexual tendencies you didn't suspect or want 11. You might discover homosexual tendencies in one of your friends you didn't suspect or want 12. You have the option of wrecking twice the normal number of relationships 13. The odds of boyfriends/spouses walking in on you triple 14. Sorting clothes quickly when the significant other walks in assumes comical proportions 15. Now there are two wet spots to avoid. [image]
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Happy Tuesday to you! [image]
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LMAO - good post! [image]
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Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says: "What the fuck is your problem! I said I needed a hand saw!" The other guy says: "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!" .[image]
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[image]
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Well I am posting this one.. for Wed.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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HiYa Pal lol! the last one is the best(and most true)
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Well I am posting this one.. for Wed.. [image]
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HiYa Pal lol! the last one is the best(and most true) [image]
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Happy Thursday Pal hugssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Happy Thursday Pal hugssss V
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Q: What do you call a person that doesn't fart in public? A: a PRIVATE TUTOR. Q: What's the definition of bravery? A: a man with diarrhea chancing a fart! Q: What's the difference between Mozart and Mr. Methane? A: One is music to your ear; the other is music from his rear.
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Happy Friday to you! This one is for you as you have been digging out for the past few days.. This is the way I love to look at winter.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Happy Thursday Pal hugssss V [image]
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wow, that is a scary guy [image]
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Q: What do you call a person that doesn't fart in public? A: a PRIVATE TUTOR. Q: What's the definition of bravery? A: a man with diarrhea chancing a fart! Q: What's the difference between Mozart and Mr. Methane? A: One is music to your ear; the other is music from his rear. [image]
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Happy Friday to you! This one is for you as you have been digging out for the past few days.. This is the way I love to look at winter.. [image]
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What does a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get. /////////////////// What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
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A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere" //////////////////////////////// A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease. "Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?" "Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?" "Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?" "And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?" "Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?" "Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your tits twice a day, but only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?"
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What does a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get. /////////////////// What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man. [image]
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A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere" //////////////////////////////// A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Cow Disease. "Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?" "Sure. Do you know the bulls only screw the cows once a year?" "Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what's the relationship between this and Mad Cow?" "And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?" "Mr. Brown, that's interesting, but, what's the point?" "Lady, the point is this: if I'm playing with your tits twice a day, but only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you go mad, too?" [image]
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Don't forget to put your clocks forward tonight hugssssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Blonde Phone Sex Previous Next Q: Why was the blonde afraid to have phone sex? A: Because the condom wouldn't fit over the phone.
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Had to post this one I just got in! So you liked bald pussy! Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Happy Monday to you Pal hugsssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Don't forget to put your clocks forward tonight hugssssssssssss V [image]
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Blonde Phone Sex Previous Next Q: Why was the blonde afraid to have phone sex? A: Because the condom wouldn't fit over the phone. [image]
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Had to post this one I just got in! So you liked bald pussy!
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Happy Monday to you Pal hugsssssssssss V [image]
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Wow what a day yesterday was Pal.. Couldn't get on! Then when I got one it was all messed up! Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad. Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard!
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Q: What do girls and noodles have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them. Q: What do you call a letter from a feminist? A: Hate male.
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Wow what a day yesterday was Pal.. Couldn't get on! Then when I got one it was all messed up! [image]
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A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad. Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard! [image]
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Q: What do girls and noodles have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them. Q: What do you call a letter from a feminist? A: Hate male. [image]
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Joke for today Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Q: What do a dildo and tofu have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes. Q: How do you break the nose on a blonde? A: You put a dildo under a glass table!
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Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy". The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
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Joke for today [image]
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Q: What do a dildo and tofu have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes. Q: How do you break the nose on a blonde? A: You put a dildo under a glass table! [image]
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Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy". The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!". [image]
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Another joke for today.. for those lover of that movie! Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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A man is having problems with his Johnson which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick is burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your penis." The man walks home (deeply depressed); his wife is already expecting him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!" He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."
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"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. "Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."
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A man is having problems with his Johnson which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick is burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your penis." The man walks home (deeply depressed); his wife is already expecting him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!" He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it." [image]
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"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore. "Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do." The next day, the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Okay, you may put your clothes back on." The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either." [image]
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Another joke for today.. for those lover of that movie! [image]
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Two cows, Daisy and Dolly, are in a field. Daisy says, ‘I was artificially inseminated this morning.’ ‘I don’t believe you,’ says Dolly. Daisy says, ‘It’s true, no bull!’
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In a court in Tralee, deep in County Kerry, Ireland, this conversation is reported to have taken place: Lawyer: 'At the scene of the accident, Mr O'Brien, did you tell the Garda officer that you had never felt better in your life?' O'Brien the old farmer: 'That's right, sir.' Lawyer: 'Well then, Mr O'Brien, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's car hit your cart?' O'Brien the farmer: 'When the Garda arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Darcy, my dog, who was badly hurt, and shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say I've never felt better in my life.'
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too funny some of these jokes.. Here is another one Pal.. be careful what you asked for with a shaven beaver.. It might just be this.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Q: What do you call a Roman soldier with a smile on his face and a piece of hair between his two front teeth? A: A GLAD-HE-ATE-HER
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great jokes and photos! [image] 
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Two cows, Daisy and Dolly, are in a field. Daisy says, ‘I was artificially inseminated this morning.’ ‘I don’t believe you,’ says Dolly. Daisy says, ‘It’s true, no bull!’ [image]
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In a court in Tralee, deep in County Kerry, Ireland, this conversation is reported to have taken place: Lawyer: 'At the scene of the accident, Mr O'Brien, did you tell the Garda officer that you had never felt better in your life?' O'Brien the old farmer: 'That's right, sir.' Lawyer: 'Well then, Mr O'Brien, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's car hit your cart?' O'Brien the farmer: 'When the Garda arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Darcy, my dog, who was badly hurt, and shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say I've never felt better in my life.' [image]
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too funny some of these jokes.. Here is another one Pal.. be careful what you asked for with a shaven beaver.. It might just be this.. [image]
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Q: What do you call a Roman soldier with a smile on his face and a piece of hair between his two front teeth? A: A GLAD-HE-ATE-HER [image]
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Too funny Pal.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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You might be a caffeine addict if… •you’re on a first name basis with Juan Valdez ( Bruce Campbell) •your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee. •your heart rate is always in triple digits. •you know from experience caffeine tablets don’t dissolve in cola. ( Tony Hall ) •you wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT. •you can name the five flavors of JOLT. •you drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.
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Too funny Pal..  
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You might be a caffeine addict if… •you’re on a first name basis with Juan Valdez ( Bruce Campbell) •your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee. •your heart rate is always in triple digits. •you know from experience caffeine tablets don’t dissolve in cola. ( Tony Hall ) •you wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT. •you can name the five flavors of JOLT. •you drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.  [image]
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More jokes Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Q: Why was the mermaid wearing sea shells? A: Her boobs were too big for B shells. Q: Why did God give women boobs and nipples? A: To make suckers out of men!
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Drunk Blonde A drunk blonde woman was sitting at a bar says to the barman, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn." The barman mixes her drink and puts in down in front of her. A few minutes later, she calls him over and says, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn." He rolls his eyes but mixes her drink anyway and sets it down in front of her. A few minutes later, she waves him over again and says, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn." The barman looks her up and down and says, "First off, it's bartender, not barfender. Second off, it's martini, not marhini. And third, you don't have heartburn, your boob is in the ashtray."
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More jokes .[image]
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Q: Why was the mermaid wearing sea shells? A: Her boobs were too big for B shells. Q: Why did God give women boobs and nipples? A: To make suckers out of men! [image]
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Drunk Blonde A drunk blonde woman was sitting at a bar says to the barman, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn." The barman mixes her drink and puts in down in front of her. A few minutes later, she calls him over and says, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn." He rolls his eyes but mixes her drink anyway and sets it down in front of her. A few minutes later, she waves him over again and says, "Barfender, I'd like a marhini for my heartburn." The barman looks her up and down and says, "First off, it's bartender, not barfender. Second off, it's martini, not marhini. And third, you don't have heartburn, your boob is in the ashtray." [image]
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ANOTHER JOKE Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist! Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? A: a $100 bill!
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Q: Did you guys hear about the cannibal that made a bunch of businessmen into Chili? A: I guess he liked seasoned professionals. Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Q: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
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lol Pal Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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ANOTHER JOKE . How about this surprise?[image]
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Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist! Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? A: a $100 bill! [image]
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Q: Did you guys hear about the cannibal that made a bunch of businessmen into Chili? A: I guess he liked seasoned professionals. Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Q: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. [image]
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lol Pal [image]
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last joke before I am off Pal.. Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says: "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
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Thanks for all the funnies.Always nice to have a smile on the face.Plus makes for a better attitude during the day
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Happy Friday Pal. Here is one for you Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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last joke before I am off Pal.. [image]
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Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says: "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!" The mom says: "The bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says: "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!" [image]
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(Police sirens) Police: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Me: "Because you were bored and wanted someone to talk to? Did you hear that the energizer bunny was arrested? He was charged with battery. What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest!
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with." [image]
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Happy Friday Pal. Here is one for you [image]
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[image]
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I held a meeting for premature ejaculators, the letter I sent out read "casual attire, meeting starts at 6pm" but every one still came early in their nicest pants.
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A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem ... In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself". That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife. At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?". The man answered, "Not that well ... when I fired the pistol my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
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I held a meeting for premature ejaculators, the letter I sent out read "casual attire, meeting starts at 6pm" but every one still came early in their nicest pants.
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A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem ... In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself". That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife. At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, "How did it go?". The man answered, "Not that well ... when I fired the pistol my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!" [image]
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[image]
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If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
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Trying to find you a funny hugs v Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics. [image]
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Trying to find you a funny hugs v [image]
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Found this one on my phone today Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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[image] Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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A young pet monkey had an accident and needed a brain transplant. The veterinarian told the monkey's human family, "Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the cost yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the family. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000," replied the vet. All the men in the family nodded because they thought they understood. But the mother was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male and female brains?" "Standard pricing practice," said the vet. "The female brains have to be marked down because they’ve actually been used!".
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We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
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Got this one Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Here is your funny for today Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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LOL
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Looking around for something today hugs v Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Found this one on my phone today [image]
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A young pet monkey had an accident and needed a brain transplant. The veterinarian told the monkey's human family, "Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the cost yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the family. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000," replied the vet. All the men in the family nodded because they thought they understood. But the mother was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male and female brains?" "Standard pricing practice," said the vet. "The female brains have to be marked down because they’ve actually been used!".
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We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. [image]
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Got this one 
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Here is your funny for today 
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LOL 
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Looking around for something today hugs v 
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Found another one hugs v Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from Getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, “If you were a gentleman you’d lift your hat.” He raised an eyebrow and replied, “If you weren’t so ugly it would lift itself.”
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Disclaimer: This website contains adult material, all members and persons appearing on this site have contractually represented to us that they are 18 years of age or older.
