How to make something awkward into something else  

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5/25/2006 7:30 pm
How to make something awkward into something else

Last friday I did my usual after work,then stopped at 7-11 topick up a 6-pk of budlight.I paid with my debit card then as I was walking by the trash can I thought to myself" instead of taking this receipt home to join the others I'll throw it away right here" Okay, I didn't think about the keys to my truck that were in the same hand.I reached into the trash can opened my hand, dropped the receipt,Oka and MY TRUCK KEYS!"okay crap I said to myself at this point. I reached into the garbage can, after spotting the keys to MY TRUCK lying atop a bag next to some weird looking stuff I still can't identify,While I'm fishing around for my keys, a mother and her little girl,cute kid,I'd seen her in there with her mom before ,they know me by sight as I know them the same way. The little girl looks up her Mom and says in a loud clear voice"mommy is he a bum?" Now when I've seen them I'm nasty looking and probably smell worse than I look,Mom didn't say anything but rushed her little prize of life her daughter into the store.But befrore they could get hardly a foot or two away from me I decided to have some fun with the situation.Iwas grumbling to myself when they walked up to me ,to eneter the store,so I started out in a louder voice"god I hope I get that cheeseburger I saw In there, and maybe I find something else tasty for desert!" This helped mom speed her child into the store,away from me. Well I finally got my damn keys out of that trash can,shook the crap off of them wiped them down and was just getting into MY TRUCK when they exited the store. The look on their gfaces was priceless! I heard some laughing while this little episode was occouring and at this time I looked over to see a guy sitting in his car laughuing reallyhard,his face was beet red from it, as he heard and saw the entire series of events happen. I work for a predominate tree service in town and alot of people know me by sight when I'm cleaned up and even if I'm not they know my truck,it has company lettering on it and it's a F250 sdset up abit with the big tires and a pretty champagne color paint job.So far this week I've run into the mom and her little bundle of joy from heaven, she is cute almost as cute as my granddaughters,2 times and each time mom gets alittle blushy colore. This is how I turn an awkward situation into something else.
On another note my dog never ceases to give me cause to laugh.I made some biscuits the other day and gave him one, he took it gently in his teeth,he is 80% lab with 15% rottwieller(?) thrown in,so he has a big head with BIG teeth, thenran into the backyard where he oput it down and proceeded to stand guard over it for the rest ogf the evening and even through the next deay. At least he's guarding it from me.Then I found 3 T-bone steak bones that he (buried) in the comforter on my bed, I'm sorry, it is his bed he just lets me sleep there as long as I don't take up too much space,in which case he manages to push me with his shoulder onto the floor.He is gentle about it I guess I just ave to learn my place.Oh well better go now just thought you might enjoy a bit of insight into the life of a simple man

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