Pursuing Polyamory  

4EverYoungFL 66M
54 posts
7/12/2005 3:41 pm

Last Read:
6/20/2011 7:54 pm

Pursuing Polyamory

In a previous message, I mentioned that I had a conversation with my wife about my interest in adding a "third" to our life, not so much for a three-some (which might be fun) but more to experiment with the polyamorous lifestyle.

It has always been my fantasy to have two wives, kind like having a concubine, but on a level of equality between the genders.

In any event, initially my wife was simply humoring me (or so I thought.) Nevertheless, I kept talking about it, hoping to "plant the seed" of the idea in her mind.

Well, it seems that the seed may be taking root. We had a most interesting conversation this weekend in which I once again brought up the issue of our differing sex drives and how to handle it. She then, without my coaxing, brought up the idea of another woman, saying essentially, "Perhaps it is time to put an ad in the paper for your concubine."

As part of the discussion, she suggested that I advertise for someone from a third-world country. After telling her that I am not looking for a servant and a sex-slave, but rather a truly loving relationship, we REALLY got into an interesting conversation.

We talked about my fantasies with various women, including one of her friends. We discussed, pretty openly, about how it could never work, for various reasons. Then she dropped the bomb. Without my hinting at all, she brought up the name of the woman I work with, the woman with whom I have gotten emotionally very close, although not sexually intimate.

As could be predicted from the nature of our relationship, my wife knew about my "deep affection" (as she described it) for this woman. As a result, she asked if I would consider it.

I will not go into the details of that discussion. However, suffice it to say that the discussion was left on a very high note, after which we moved on to great sex between the two of us.

Needless to say, I have the best wife in the world... a woman who understands me totally and wants me to be happy, even if it involves discussing (or possibly pursuing) an alternative lifestyle.

I now am ready to relay this conversation to the "other woman" in my life and see how she reacts to the way things are going.

Should be interesting. Stay tuned!!!

rm_txrose4uNTX 57F
3289 posts
7/12/2005 6:27 pm

Interesting indeed. It takes a special, trusting relationship that you must have before even proceeding with the thoughts of bringing someone else into the marriage. Be careful though, she could be planting the seed for you too -- about somone for her as well. Could you handle that????

Personally, I know that I couldn't....but, that is just me. I don't like sharing....

Looking forward to seeing how it turns out for you....

4EverYoungFL 66M

7/13/2005 12:42 am

Very important question. Yes, we have a child, but grown and out of the house.

Surprisingly, as part of our discussion, we talked about our son's potential reaction if we pursued it. However, since he is in a rather unconventional relationship himself (with a MUCH older woman), it would be a little difficult for him to be judgmental of us.

4EverYoungFL 66M

7/13/2005 12:50 am

txrose4uNTX: It is possible that she is planting the seed because she has someone as well. However, I would be VERY surprised if that were the case.

As you can imagine, we have very good communication in our marriage. And, my wife never discusses other men in any kind of affectionate way. And, because of her lower sex drive, she has told me numerous times that I fulfill her sexual and emotional needs.

However, if it were to be the case, it is something I would simply have to accept. It would be a little hypocritical, don't you think, for me to want to pursue another relationship while being angry at her for wanting the same.

It gets down to understanding that although we share "unconditional love," that does not mean that we are capable of satisfying all of each other's intellectual, emotional, sexual or spiritual needs. If she needed/wanted another person (male or female) to complete her, it simply something I would have to deal with.

A more likely scenario (since she knows the lady we are discussing) that she is considering the possibility of a female-female relationship with her... even if it is only an emotional bond. Kind of like the idea of "If he loves her, then I love her." My wife is that kind of person.

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