Meet & Greets: Myth vs. fact, Pt.II  

3FreqsOnnaLeash 46G  
117 posts
4/25/2006 9:15 am

Last Read:
1/5/2007 8:33 am

Meet & Greets: Myth vs. fact, Pt.II

Pop quiz: You live in an area with a good amount of similarly minded people, and you'd like to see a M&G in the area, there are several others that feel the same, but nobody seems to bite.
What do you do?

Here's how it goes. If you build it, they will come.

Sure it's a lame rip off line, but it is very much the truth. However,...
You have to take a few thing into mind when choosing a place & time to have the meets.

Location location location!
Location is the single biggest killer of meets. You have to find a place that has several attributes so that a wider variety of people will be more likely to enjoy coming. Bars are the most obvious, but not the best. Now a resturaunt with a lounge in it is the ideal setting. Someplace that has dancing & brings in a live bands from time to time is also a crowd pleaser. Altho you do have to keep in mind it may get louder & end the socializing earlier than most like.
The biggest thing is to pick a location that is central to your area to be most convenient to everyone, not JUST the host (We have to drive 35 miles to get to our usual meeting place). And on top of that, someplace where there is an acceptable amount of annonimity, someplace you can justify being if say, your boss walks in & you are the type that actualy cares about that stuff.
Look at the security aspect of the location. Is this a place you'd feel comfortable taking, say, your mom or sister. If it's not, move on. Bigger & more secure is better, but check out the crowds & when it gets busy, things like that.
One thing to look for is someplace that has something else to offer people if they decide they aren't into it, so it's not a wasted evening for them. Afterall, a night out dancing & conversing with like minded folks in a fun place is always better than about an hour is the corner of a smoky bar with some folks that just dont do it for you & deciding to call it a night.

Time & date
Weekday meets are fairly popular in areas with a larger population, just some freinds getting together for dinner & chat, then off home before bed time. Not the most feasble for areas with a sparser population tho.
So weekend meets are the most popular, either Friday or Saturday nights. You can try to find out from the people that are interested what day works best for them, but in the end you cant please everyone, so do what you can.
Start early so that people can get in some face time & chat before the location gets too loud, also gives people a chance to eat, things like that. We start ours at 7pm, but we get there at 6:30 so we can be finishing our dinner as people start to arrive. (Food is a great way to bring people together, so if you can find a meeting place with great food that people can share, all the better!)

Now here's the tricky part. The best way to get the word out is the chat rooms. But you cant be annoying about it, & you cant be repetitive, you'll get banned. You can also post it in your freinds network page, but the site screens those & will deny the posts if they have too much specific info, a serious pain in the hiney. If you can get several people to just mention kind of off handedly in the chats about the meets, & email people that you're interested in & let them know you'll be at a social gathering at this location if you'd like to meet in a safe enviroment, yadda yadda,... It all works.

You will find that you'll have a small turnout at first, it might even get smaller. But if you set a regular date (We started one weekend/mo. & now use the 2nd & 4th Saturdays), people will know it's there & come out when they can. It's better to have a set date so people can plan ahead, very important with couples/parents with kids. Regardless tho, there will be up times, & there will be down times, but persistence pays off.
Over time word gets out & you'll get folks showing up that are new to the site, or just heard someone was holding a meet, many times they get invited to meet someone for the 1st at the meets as they are a safe place.

Wich brings me to Damn good reasons to attend the meets
Dont be a wuss, everyone was new at one time. Hell, we still attend random meets in other cities & frequently are the newbies. Sure, we are known, but we're still strangers in person. When you take into account that Deni & I are really shy & pretty much socially inept,... Yeah, ANYONE can do this!
If you already know people, you have backup when meeting someone new. VERY important feature for single ladies. We know several women that use the meets for 1st encounters with men/couples. They'll tell them "if you'd like to meet me, I'll here on this day". this does a couple of things, 1st, it weeds out the losers who dont have the balls to meet around people you know but they dont. 2nd, if you two just dont click, there are other people there you & the person you met might like. it's all about options!
The single most important thing is NETWORKING! As I mentioned in the previous post, networking will gain you more solid contacts than the meets do, & WAY more then this site does. We have even been meeting people from other sites that came to our meets with other members, or folks just bring along freinds that aren't even on the web. Someone always seems to know someone else that "might like you", we have gotten some very interesting contacts this way.
In the years we have been playing this internet game, we can say without a doubt that the people we have met directly at other meets, and more recently the people that attend our meet, have been the greatest source of finding new compatible people.

So, if you cover the location, set a date, & show up consistently, you will find that more & more people come out.
You might not get many at once, I think we topped out at 16 people, but we have always had someone new at every meet, & have drawn people from as far as 3 hours away. As long as you draw fresh faces, you're gonna have a chance.
But even so, you go in hoping for a lot, expecting nothing, & you'll always go away happy.

We have met several hundred people at meets & other public events, have made some truly amazing freinds, as well as met & had wild freaky sex with a few lovely ladies. All of this without ever having to attend some creepy "house party".

Now, go out, talk to people, find a place, meet!

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