|Blogs > rm_onceat41 > "Living the Life I was Given"|
I’ve was going to post this a couple of day ago, but put it off for various reasons. I never enjoyed school very much and middle school was no exception. Anyway I mentioned in an earlier post that I had become known as a cocksucker at my school, and even a few teachers knew what was going on. I’ll pick up this story up on the day my 7th grade English teacher handed me a note asking to see her after class. At first I wasn’t concerned since I thought it was about all the homework that I usually failed to complete. But that feeling changed when she told me she had heard some disturbing stories and wanted to ask me about them. Now in school I was a boy and in my naïve way didn’t think anyone knew what I did after school (and before school, and on the weekends, and sometimes at lunch). Still just the thought of getting caught by an adult caused me to panic and run. But I didn’t get far because I ran directly into Mr. M who brought me back into the class room.
Note: Ok, I haven’t thought much about Mr. & Mrs. M for many years but here is the background. Both were English teachers, but Mrs. M was also the girls Phys Ed and basketball coach along with being the fantasy of almost every boy in the school. She was in very good physical shape with wonderful legs and looked similar to Courtney Cox, only with the physical parts of Demi Moore. She was very hot. Mr. M was a small man, not nearly as impressive as Mr. Rogers on TV.
As I was brought back to the classroom I must have been a sight, trembling as tears ran down my face. I was sat in the chair next to the desk and after a few moments Mr. M quietly left and closed the door. Mrs. M rolled her to chair in front of me, held my hands and apologized saying she was very sorry and didn’t intend to upset me. She said she knew it was very lonely when there is no one to talk with about our secret problems.
There were two things going through my mind at this time. One was my brother was now 15 and had told me if I ever said anything to anyone ever, he would beat the shit out me every day for the rest of my life. And his friend Jack who at this time had a reputation as a tough guy promised if I opened my mouth he would break both my arms and legs and toss me in the lake to drown. I was terrified if I said anything Jack would hear about it and keep his promise.
The other thing on my mind was Mrs. M’s legs. She usually wore short dresses that looked really nice, but when sitting was always behind her desk. Now she was sitting directly in from of my chair, holding my hands and waiting for me to stop trembling. I was scrunched as small as I could get and as a result I had a clear view of her legs all the way to the top of her lace stockings and even the crotch of her black panties. I was mesmerized by the view which eventually distracted me enough that my trembling began to subside. Mrs. M patiently waited a little longer while gently stroking my hands and told me she was here to be my friend and anything we talked about would be our secret then asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about. Still looking down I started trembling again and told her I can’t, at which time she got out of her chair, put her arms around me and pulled me close and held me.
Ok, here I was, an 11 year old walking erection being hugged by the hottest teacher in the state. The side of my face was lying on her breast, while one of her hands gently touched my tears and the other hand stroked my back. She smelled so good, and with the visions of her thighs still fresh in my mind, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I was beginning to feel at ease for the first time in several years and never wanted this feeling to end. Mrs. M kept telling me it was ok, that everyone has secrets. Eventually my tears dried and I only had an occasional tremble. Still holding my hands she gently kissed my cheek before sitting back in her chair and asked how long I had been dressing up as a girl. So she knew part of it, but I couldn’t answer, my voice still wouldn’t work. Mrs. M continued talking and asked what kind of clothes I like to wear, what color were my dresses and did I wear stockings like hers? Looking up her dress again I was finally able to talk and told her my stockings were not a nice as hers. She asked what I like about her stockings and I told said the lace tops and suspenders were very nice. Smiling, she whispered lacy things were her favorite and it was ok for me to take a closer look. My little cock was so hard I thought it was going to break as I openly admired her silky stockings and the smooth thighs above the tops. By this time we had been in her classroom for almost two hours and everyone else except maintenance had left the school. Mrs. M said it time we left but we still needed to talk about my school work. She said her first job was as a teacher and I needed some help to get through the class. I almost cried again as I told her I was sorry but I just couldn’t concentrate on school stuff. That was when she asked if I would come to her house on Saturday she would tutor me so I could catch up on my class work. Both my brother and his friend Jack had girlfriends so they didn’t usually bother me much on the weekends. I told her I wasn’t sure and she said if I was interested then she would write a note to my parents offering her services. I said that would probably be ok if she really wanted to help. Mrs. M held my face as she gently kissed my forehead and said she knew I was having a difficult time and wanted very much to help me with everything. I finally smiled as she gave me her address and asked if I could be at her place by 10:00am on Saturday. Then said if it would help me relax it would be ok to bring some of my clothes but that would have to remain our secret. Saturday now seemed like it was going to be a long time away from now.
Note: I’ve never really been disturbed by my life in those early years. Even so in my mind I have been re-living those events for years. Now as I try and remember and organize all the details I find I am strangely comforted by the process of getting them into print. I have most of the next section (“My Tutor”) written so I might even get it posted tonight.