I have a dick.. A leghumpers ode..  

rm_2young4now 57M/53F
15 posts
3/12/2006 11:16 pm

Last Read:
8/29/2006 10:00 am

I have a dick.. A leghumpers ode..

I have a dick. I am your dream man. I will make you wish you'd never married your husband. I have a dick!

I live in a country thats great and it doesn't matter which one because I am worth the travel you'd have to make to get to my country because I have a Dick!

I come to your chat room and your webcams because deep down I know you want me. You just need the chance to see me in all MY glory. I have many names. You will follow my directions on your camera. I will not leave till I have fucked everyone of you women in that chat room because all the other men are lame losers who only talk to you and know you as a friend. Even though you pretend to ignore me I know you are watching me and following my directions on your camera. I know this because I am more because I have a dick!

I dream I will one day live in a world where all you women will bow down and worship me because of my manhood. No matter how young or old you are. I love older women. I deflower willing virgins. I am the essence of manliness! I have a beer gut from hell but you will worship me because I have a dick!

Woe to those unbelievers! My dick is bigger than any of theirs. Woe to those women who think that a way to a womans bed is thru her heart and mind. They are wrong. They are mine to fuck at my will. They are mine to turn into human pretzels and to cheapen when they actually say no.. Because I have a dick!

Have I missed any one yet?

rdy2try4 51F  
3024 posts
3/13/2006 7:36 am

OMG..this is hysterical!! I have SEEN this crap on here daily and posted as bold as "I want a woman to worship my dick." Of which I replied...nail it to a cross...if it raises on the third day I will worship it.

Unfortunately some men just don't get it, in more ways than one. MEN are far more visually stimulated than women but some absolutely don't get it. Those ones truly feel we have a clitoris in our eyes. Sorry, I have never orgasmed from looking at it. Also, a big dick with a big dick..is just a big dick. I don't date dicks. Truly...the MAN that owns it is where the big attraction lies. There is a good contingency of men that will have sex with a woman regardless of anything, even if they have to put a bag on her head or turn her over. Women are not quite that way...we have to like you at least for the most part. There will always be the few exceptions...but guys...don't think the exceptions outweigh the rest of us. Because 1 in 100 says something...the other 99 will NOT conform to that one.

Truly, seriously, if you look at the multitude of emails women get, the profiles we have to read, and the chatroom talk....MOST men are waving that thing at us as if it is going to be the deciding factor. Uh...if there are 100 of you all waving it...what makes YOU different?? Not that dick!! Not the approach!! "I have a big cock" just gets lame and boring...trust me. Be different!!! Try this...BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AS A MAN...NOT AS A DICK. lol I would be more than happy to talk with a man or look at *him* as opposed to a dick any day.

For examples of the emails like this and other bad approaches...feel free to check out MY blogs at rdy2try4's info blogs.

Ladywithatti2d 76F  
495 posts
3/13/2006 9:10 am

Oh, yes Mr.Dick. You did miss just a few points. I adore your beer gut, especially when you have to lift up those belly rolls so I can peek underneath at the surprise dick hidden there. Wow, I had no clue it was under there like that. I wonder if you get your belly wet when you go potty?? well, sorry it was just a thought.!

I am so impressed that when you turned 50 you realized that you don't have to shave any more!!! now your face is covered in gray stripey, shaggy hair right down to your chest. Seeing as you don't shave anymore, you don't even have to keep it neat you have reached your age of independence!!! revolt against all razors!!!.

Batting my green eyes at you Dick!, your hair, sigh, so lovely, it hangs in lanky chunks flowing down to your shoulders, when you gave up the razor for shaving you also gave up barbers!!, Hell why should you have to pay so much money to get a haircut, women just adore you looking like a furry Chewbaca. Such a mental image comes to mind. Long hair, running into beard and mustache that flows down to your chest, which meets your beergut which is rising higher each day.!! Be still my heart.

One advantage to all that facial hair, it can serve as a strainer for your food, and it can disguise your teeth. I mean holy dentures batman, you could have just gums in there, or a few snaggles to chew with and who would ever guess!!!. Imagine Dick on a date with Miss PoliDent. A match if ever I heard one.

You know, with all the self confidence in the world, that even tho you have passed the age of 50 looking like this sexual treat, all the 20 year olds, and models of the world, Cindy C comes to mind, are just waiting for their chance to date you. They check their email daily just waiting.

Ohhhh Dick, I adore your bib overhauls, with one strap hanging and one hooked, like how sexy is that off the shoulder look... Your pic with that monster dick you are squeezing with both hands... Ohh reminds me of that burger commercial, "It takes two hands to handle a whopper".

The sensuous, tittilating way you waggle it stroke it on cam, like waiting for a big bass to come along and spy that fat juicy purple worm, well it wouldn't be purple if you were not squeezing the damn thing so tight, wait, looking a little closer, I KNOW THAT DICK. Gasp, omg, thats Wandering Waldo, 9 other men borrow it in 4 other countries, it's a celebrity dick.

Truly what kind of female society have we evolved into that we do not simply drool, rip off our panties, fling ourself down, or bend over, upon the introduction of a dick. On the more positive side seeing as they are nothing except a dick it can't talk, we don't have to listen to them tell us how we won't be disappointed, then ARE.

Sigh, I shall leave all Dicks with this visual of what women actually see when you run in waving your dicks like it's the best part of you, for some I would think that could be true, but then even that dick has it UP's and DOWN's, mostly DOWN.

Image: 13inch long, coke can thick, engorged head, that flares like a german helmet that has been painted with this ungodly purple paint. Two hands wrapped around it to hold it still for the photo, as it is pulsing, throbbing, twisting around like an entity with a life of it's very own. Your hands holding the Anaconda have fingers that are also 13inches long from enhancing, and your body is so slight that you must weigh like 110lbs soaking wet, and here you are cursed to have to carry a 3lb dick in your shorts. Well, that is if you can find shorts to tuck that baby in.

Dick, after all my thoughts, and stimulating visuals, as you walk around disembodied, with no mind just a dick I fear that is all you shall ever truly be, just a dick with a dick.


rm_2young4now 57M/53F
20 posts
8/23/2006 5:44 pm

I am the female of this couple and believe me he got an ear-full for this commentary!

Dicks beware you may dream this fantasy but you would be most un happy with it. Women are not fodder for you to abuse overuse or ignore. They are to be pampered and taken seriously.

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