Humor and the Female Anatomy  

2xTwiceShy 51M
8 posts
1/17/2006 1:29 am

Last Read:
4/10/2006 10:52 pm

Humor and the Female Anatomy

I have two semi parallel thoughts going on here, and I will try my best to address both as gently and as politically correct as possible. I read a post by a female blogger tonight, and it inspired some humurour memories that I wanted to share.

Clearly this blogger was not completely at ease in broaching the subject, so I will leave her handle and blog off, unless she cares to fess up on her own. The topic in question was "the involuntary expulsion of air from the vagina." (How's that for PC?) Apparently, the subject was new to her. Her post was little more than a cry for advice on the nature of the experience, seeking confirmation from bloggers far and wise that their was anything clinically wrong with her.

No need to rehash the subject here, other than to tell her, like so many who commented before me, it's just not that uncommon. Which brings me to memory number one. I dated a wonderful lady for over two years. And I couldn't stress "lady" enough. She was the most prim and proper person you'd ever meet in public, her every mannerism a tribute to social graces.

In addition to this wonderful public demeanor, she had two other attributes that made her sensational to be around in private. She was absolutely comfortable with her body, at any time of the day and under any circumstance. When we were alone, she could go days without putting on more than one of my shirts. She also had a wicked sense of humor, and was never slow to make herself the subject of anything funny.

Anyway, one day she experienced the first "audio experience" in our shared company. Her reaction was to laugh, point to her privates, and thank me. "God almighty, even she's gasping for air" was how she diffused the moment. Days later, when it happened again, she laughed and suggested, "Well belching won't hardly pay any bills. But if I could teach it to whistle, we could be rich."

Okay, so awkward moments are little more than dust in the wind between lovers. But the post I read tonight also had me thinking about a conversation I had with my then four year old son about the female anatomy. Expecting our second child, he asked me how babies manage to get out of mommy's tummy.

Four years old. Dangerous territory knowing that he could be heading to school soon to share this information. And the last thing I wanted to do was scare the little guy. So I pondered the question as I stalled and tried to find the right words. Eventually, I explained that boys and girls are built slightly different. Girls have a special feature, an opening that allows babies to come out.

I was so proud of myself for dodging that bullet as he seemed satisfied with my answer. But ten minutes later he asked the follow up question that I was reminded of this evening. "Once the baby comes out, how does the opening close up again." My face turned purple as a valiantly fought off my laughter, with my initial sarcastic thought being, "Son, sometimes it never does."

But I couldn't very well let that answer fly, so when the chuckles finally subsided long enough for me to keep a straight face I offered him another image. "Well, you can open your mouth to talk or chew food, or to breathe or sneeze." (Laughter filling my cheeks as I turned away so he couldn't see me directly.) "But you can still close your mouth when your done. It kind of works like that."

So, my dainty fellow blogger, it kind of works like that. But thanks for stirring the smiles. Now, if you manage to teach it to whistle, you best call me first!

Gawd, I love this place.

spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
1/17/2006 6:00 pm

Great post! Well done!

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde

sexyeyes375 47F

1/18/2006 4:53 pm

LOVED this post!!! Sharing that laugh while you are in bed makes the bond that much more intimate...she sounds like an incredible woman.

very well written.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
1/26/2006 7:56 pm

Oh, I miss you.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
2/5/2006 4:20 pm


tillerbabe 56F

3/23/2006 11:45 pm

COME ON! Update your BLOG dude!!!!! LOL!

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