2 parts to life, the first half and the second half  

2ofusfor3 53M/48F
245 posts
6/7/2005 4:03 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

2 parts to life, the first half and the second half


I'm 36 and will be getting married soon. I've had more than my share of wonderful relationships, but because they were so wonderful, I had to wonder why they never were anything more. Ok, so the common denominator was me. I am scared to death of the marital institution! Marriages I thought were pilars of strength have toppled all around me... and right when I needed them to give me hope. I have spent a great deal of time trying to find the right recipe for a happy life long marriage. There is no such thing, but in my quest I've learned a great deal.

I've come to some conclusions that seem to fit most people in our culture... at least most people I know. First, there are two parts to your life: the first half and the second half. Second, each half will have a marriage all its own.

In your first half marraige, you'll start at square one with a story book love...you'll have your youth, career, home, kids... and around 30-35 years old, it will fall apart.

In your second half marriage, you'll start at square one without your youth and with a more real love than you've ever known... you'll have perhaps new step kids, lucky to own a home, figuring out your career is not what you want to do anymore... a completely new life.

I know this does not apply to everyone... just most people I KNOW. I didn't have a first half marriage... I skipped that part.

artistforexploit 60M

6/8/2005 3:06 am

I can only wish you the best in your up coming marriage, I hope that you will have a wonderfully enriching experience that will last your whole life long. It seems that in today's world, too many people seem to marry for superficial reasons, but if you are willing to go through your day to day existance & not expect life to give you a multitude of new & wonderful experiences then you're half way to happiness. Marriage is like a garden, you can plant it, but if you don't look after it the weeds & pests of dissent will form, if you don't feed & water it, it will shrivel & die.
As an inspiration to you, a painting by J.E.H. Mac Donald, The Tangled Garden, might help to inspire you.
All the best.


LUVS2LICHER 58M/57F
1 post
6/12/2005 9:45 pm

I REALLY APPRECIATED YOUR VIEWS ON 2 PARTS OF LIFE, BOTH MY HUSBAND AND I HAD A LONG FIRST PART MARRAGE THAT ENDED BADLY, AT AGE 33/34
OUR MARRAGES FELL APART, WE MET EACH OTHER AROUND THEN AND GOT MARRIED 05/21/05, AND WE BOTH FEEL MORE LOVE WITH EACH OTHER THAN WE EVER FELT WITH OUR EX-MATES. WE BOTH HAVE STEP KIDS AND A NEW WONDERFUL LIFE! I AM SURPRISED THIS IS SO COMMON, BUT I AM GLAD TO KNOW OTHERS FOUND OR WILL FIND THE KIND OF HAPPINESS WE HAVE.


2ofusfor3 53M/48F

6/23/2005 12:38 am

the second half is so much more grown up, don't you think?


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