Things That Stir My Loins: Chemistry, Rhythm, and Kissing  

2muchwoman4some 41F
64 posts
8/24/2005 1:17 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Things That Stir My Loins: Chemistry, Rhythm, and Kissing

Do I have loins or is that just men? I was trying to make this non-specific, but I may just have been showing my ignorance with the title I wrote. Bear with me.

Being the analytical and detached animal that I am, and based on a comment from my first post, I have been thinking about WHAT MAKES GOOD CASUAL SEX GOOD. It all comes down to three things for me: chemistry, rhythm, kissing.

Now, what the fuck IS chemistry? Is it lust? I can be awfully horny and still not have chemistry with someone. Is it attraction? I can be really drawn to a person and not feel that we have chemistry. And on the flip side, I can be not so drawn to them physically, or even really dislike them, and still have amazing chemisry. So it isn't that. I actually believe that chemistry, for me, has a lot to do with PHEROMONES. I remember the first time I was knocked off my feet by the amazing power of just inhaling a guy's skin. I was only 16...and every time this boy walked by me all summer long I felt it inside. Even today when I meet people for the first time, I usually can tell pretty quickly from a hug whether I feel comfortable with them or not from a sniff. I'm not talking about cologne and perfume here either. I mean, fragranced products are ok, I use them myself. But I can smell under those, through them, down to the person. The actual aroma of the person is key. Clean is always nice, appreciated, and usually appropriate. But when it comes to a sexual thing, if I'm into a man's aroma, I'll like him dirty too. I might not want to lick his balls, but the idea wouldn't make me gag either.

When I meet someone new, am thinking of sleeping with them, and get my first smell of them and like it - I can tell right away if I feel any potential chemstry. And wow, there have been times that I get the brain-smell thumbs up message way too strongly and find myself behaving like a dog.

Now, onto RHYTHM. This sexual discovery didn't really fall into place for me till I was about 23 with an older, more experienced lover; he was 40 that year. He taught me a lot. Guys, do you want to last all night long? Timing. Want to make her orgasm 50 times? Timing. Want her to think your cock is 2 feet long? Use it like a musical instrument. Apply to oral too, and breathing, and massage...Books, movies, plays, music...they all work on the same theme. Grab em, make em like it, hold em there, hold em there, hold em there, build it up, climax, recover.

KISSING KISSING KISSING. What a great thing. It really ties into both of the previous items too, but is so important that it stands alone. Some of the most iconic images in art depict kissing - I'm partial to Klimt's The Kiss. In fact, I went to Austria just to see it in person. I wasn't disappointed either, and Vienna turns out to be a great place! But I digress.

There isn't much else that can get the heart racing and the nether-regions going like a good kiss. Remember the scene from Bull Durham about a long slow kiss? Or Gone With the Wind? What about that one scene between Laura Dern and Willem Dafoe in Wild at Heart? That was hot, and not even a kiss. I digress again.

I think I'm a good kisser. But at times, I can tell I'm not kissing the right person, EVEN if they smell right! I know this because I feel like we're having a kissing competition versus a kissing party. See, a good kiss, like good sex, is a sensual, shared, experience. It isn't something you do TO someone, you do it WITH someone. When I feel like my kissing partner wants me to just pucker up, stick out my tongue, and let them lap away like a dog, I'm not happy. When I feel like I need one of those suction things from the dentist, or to turn away and wipe off my face with my sleeve, I'm not happy. These things detract from the stirring of my loins! My loins, if I have them, go mad though when the kiss takes on a life of it's own. It can start off nice and gentle, very sensual and tender and then (pardon the pun), suck you in to something way more intense and demanding. You can be kissing one minute and planning to walk out the door, when suddenly you're ripping eachother's clothes off and tripping over your jeans. Or it can ebb and flow for hours, wandering away from the face and slowly leading to more, or just teasing and teasing.

This blogging thing is fun! And also winds up taking more time than I thought it, in closing, I'm not closing. I'm just leaving. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts afterwards. xo

mailmantrouser2 54M
534 posts
8/24/2005 4:36 pm

Don't you think you analyze sex too much too enjoy it? It's not like it is a financial statement . . .


2muchwoman4some 41F

8/24/2005 9:08 pm

Welcome to my twisted mind Mailman...but I definitely enjoy it, yes. Yes indeedy.

pseudohippie 49F

10/24/2005 12:01 pm

I couldn't agree've said it all perfectly.

I remember an ex telling me, "You smell 'right,' I realize now that my long-term ex didn't." I felt the same way. Now, just the smell of my boyfriend's neck can make me almost hypnotized.

It's all just a dance, a dance with the "right" partner...the best dancers are a perfect fit, they move together as if one, their entire bodies are magnetized towards each other's rhythm. Of course, in the sexual dance realm, that includes kissing, and for an orally fixated woman like me, my mouth is directly tied to my more traditional sex organs.

Gosh, I dig you! Be my new best friend? lol

2muchwoman4some 41F

11/11/2005 10:19 am

Pseudo - I definitely accept. I'm sorry that I only just noticed your post! But it did give me the opportunity to re-read my thoughts from August, and I agree with me too. Yeah, that girl was sayin' sumthin'!

I was reaeding your blogs about FB vs. FWB in the wee hours, then MissAnn's and some others too. Now that was interesting.

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