Need a little help here..  

2hot2handle7799 39F
26 posts
3/27/2006 7:52 pm

Last Read:
4/3/2006 12:37 pm

Need a little help here..

Well...it seems as tho my bf and I have hit this, what I call, a "sexual rut" in our relationship...you guys know how it is...you meet someone, yall hook up or whatever..things go great at first...then after a while, it just becomes nothing more than routine..the same ol shit almost everytime you have sex. I dont know about you guys, but to me, I'm kinna bored with it. And he's the type that switching up partners, or anything outside of the "traditional relationship" box is completely out of the question...I'm definitly more open minded, and really and truly more open period than he is. He's more the reserved type..which isn't necessarily a bad thing, except when it comes to the bedroom. I'm more willing to explore the options, and when it comes to bringing that up in a conversation, I get tongue-tied. I said something to him the other night along the lines of "we need to do something different with our sex life"...he looked at me with that accusatory look in his eye like he just knew that I wanted to fuck someone else..which isn't the case..but he's very insecure, and for good reason. He's never had anyone that didn't cheat on him or wasn't a complete psycho..so of course when I say "I wanna try something new", I get "the look"...any advice on how to fix this rut we're in? and no..I'm not going to leave him..so that's out..lol...thanks yall.


rm_Shortdogg65 51M
672 posts
3/27/2006 8:32 pm

Persistance is the key here. You say he is very insecure and for a good reason. Then you must understand that it will take time to break down the walls he's put up. Just keep talking to him and sharing your feeling. If he truly cares for you and your happiness then your sincerity will help him to overcome his apprehension. Shortdogg


Jeepidiot 42M

3/27/2006 8:38 pm

Well first of all you shouldn't fault him for perhaps not wanting to share you with another person. Some people place more emphasis on sex then something purely physical. Chances are he doesn't want to sleep with another woman either and you should feel happy about that.

Perhaps not your exact words, but if you said "we need to do something different with out sex life" it just kind of says I'm bored with you. You don't please me anymore. Yeah that can be a bit unsettling.

Try some toys. Either both of you go shopping for them or you go out and buy some and surprise him.

Go to a strip club and ask him to buy you a lap dance(assuming you'd be into that).

If you want to try some new and possibly dangerous positions then don't ask him. Just lead him. Take control a bit.

Try some phone sex. Call him up someday when he doesn't expect it. Now if he's in the middle of an imporant meeting then it might have to wait.

Lots of things you can try. Of course I'm a big prude so that's all I could think of myself. I'm probably a good deal like your boyfriend.


rm_usnpo 36M

3/29/2006 3:41 pm

The first thing that pops into my head would be to write him a letter describing close to what u would like him to do. Like a written fantasy. Then leave it out where he will find it. Maybe he will come in and grant your wishes


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