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My first of many...
My first of many...
I keep wanting to write about the first woman I met on AdultFriendFinder. I want to say how liberating it was to meet a woman just to have sex with her.
It's something I never thought I could do, and never thought I'd have the opportunity to do.
I want to write that she's special and deserves all the happiness that she's striving to attain. I want her to know that no matter how much she may feel awkward hearing it, she's attractive and funny, and intelligent, and so many things. She's an inspiration for anyone that is working so hard to be something different - something they want to be.
I want to tell her that in a different world, I would be more than honored to be considered her friend. I wouldn't judge her and I'd be more than comfortable talking to her about anything.
I want to tell her these things, but I won't. I know that to me she was an important milestone in my personal growth sexually and as a human being - an indication that I am not limited by anything in this world but my own fears. Partially because of her, I know that those fears can be erradicated, erased from my mind forever.
I will never tell her these things because she was only important in my journey, I'm insignificant in hers. I know that and respect that. My experience with her was different than her experience with me... another thing I have learned and accepted.
I will still visit her little corner of this world for as long as I am here. I will still care when things don't go her way, or when they do. It's sort of my little way of saying, "Thank you for winking at me. You started me in the right direction and you'll never really know how much you helped me to begin to attain my goals"
I'm more free than I've ever been and a simple wink helped me get where I am today...
She was my first, perhaps of many, perhaps of few, but still the first... and that will never change.
And I will still never tell her this.
7/7/2006 9:20 am
But you just DID tell her, goofball.
Don't say you were "insignificant" in *anyone's* life that you've crossed paths with! You just may not know what the sifnificance IS. Didn't you watch It's A Wonderful Life a gazillion times like the rest of us have? Geesh.