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When I was a kid, I used to be happy. My mom says she remembers all my friends wanting to sit by me during this little lunch thing our school put on. I had birthday parties at the roller skating rink and had fun.
Somewhere, as I was growing up, I lost that happiness. I moped around listening to the Cure and Depeche Mode on my walkman, ignoring the world. I was painfully shy and probably clinically depressed. I guess I still am.
I called the shyness my curse. My own thoughts were keeping me from doing what I wanted to do - date and be with women and have friends. It's not fun when your mind plays tricks on you and convinces you you're not good enough to even talk to a pretty girl. They don't bite, and even if they did, I'd never know.
I said at the beginning of this year that this was going to be MY year. I was going to change. I was going to be a better person, be in better shape, meet people and have fun for a change.
I promised myself I'd let myself be happy.
January was great. February was a disaster. March was full of change. April was memorable. May? May has definitely been interesting. I'll leave the full judgement for sometime in June...