Lying - Good or Bad...  

2daycowboywanted 45F
866 posts
8/15/2006 9:06 am

Last Read:
8/17/2006 1:10 pm

Lying - Good or Bad...

Okay this post goes out to all the "honest" people there are in the world. I have a situation and I am wondering what the opinions of the general public is. So please bare with me, read all of it, and the post your comment.
I have a friend, I shall call him KR, who I have known for years and years. I consider him totally my best friend. There isnt anything that he doesnt know about me, and there isnt anything that he wouldnt do for me. I totally feel the same way for him. We have had our share of bad times, dont get me wrong. There was a time I quit talking to him for about two and a half years. Then out of the blue he called one day and said that he wanted to speak with me. My heart is pounding but I agreed. Turns out that the feelings that I thought he no longer had for me really wasnt so. I chose to listen to other people and ended our friendship rather than trust him. KR now knows this and I think he accepts that I was a dip shit a long time ago and didnt believe him.
Brings us to present time, we both have an account here but neither one of us would admit it. Seems that he was here to "check up on me". Not defined in so many words, but basically that is what he was doing. I asked him about the site and he totally denied he had access. (Seems that he is a gold member of the site, while I am a standard member) He also asked me about the site, which honestly I denied it as well. We basically had a discussion yesterday and we both finally admitted that we were members of the site. KR claims he does nothing with it but watch what I am doing. I have written blogs as well as made new friends, nothing wrong with any of that I dont think. New friends - meaning you know which ones you are.
Question is - is lying a good thing or a bad thing? Because if we would lie about something silly as this site, then what else would we lie to each other about?? Then again - do we really owe each other an explanation since there is no ring on either one of our fingers from each other and there has been no promises made to each other?
I know this topic really sucks, but I could use some advise. Tomorrow will be better!

Until later

want2play926 45F

8/15/2006 9:44 am

I don't think lying about this site is a good or bad. People see it as a bad thing and it can be dont get me wrong. But most people here are not. It seems to me that we are a bunch of people lacking something in real time life and are looking for friends. Some may want more then that.....

I know that I first came here for soemthing more, but now I am not.

Sometimes lying is not done to be sneaky or can be done out of fear or a reaction one may get.

TrueTxGtlman 53M

8/15/2006 9:57 am

I see your point and agree with you to a point. Lying usually leads to more lying. About this site though, or any online activity most tend to lie about it due to several reasons but mostly the stigma it can be for the non-net junkies. But in the case you shared with us he fibbed to hide the fact he was checking up on you and nothing more. If that is the truth he had to lie in fear that would upset you. Now with all that said, when one doubts or doesn't trust another it usually never fixes it's self. Start out with more communication until you can trust him or you know what to do next.


JadedJewelMacho 56M

8/15/2006 1:34 pm

To lie or not to lie...hummmm...that seems to be the question...and a perennial one at that....
Firstly, mostif not ALL people lie..The question then is why...some lies are well intended, not to hurt others...commendable, but not good enough.... some lies protect us from other's intentions, suspicions...good as well, but misleading...
The question you have to ask yourself is why did you lie to protect him or you?...and then , why did BOTH of you lie? (both guilty here ..). My hunch is that KR is a voyeur at heart, watching what you do, and whom you do it with...very much like the husband in closet that gets his rocks off watchinging is wige getting gangbanged while he jerks off..(absolutely nothing wrong with that, been there myself...NOT in the closet, on the other
The reasons for your lie maybe be more altruistic (didn't want to hurt him..) or you didn't want him to find out (for some reason which only you know... which, I assume, could be due to fear of judgment)
In either case, bring it to the open, confront it and move on..perhaps this could be the start of a great sexual friendship...gangbang to follow (in which case you should give me a
Enjoyed your profile, I think more women should be like you (you read my blog, you should know what I mean..)

marriednhor002 49M/41F

8/15/2006 8:04 pm

i don't think the question your posing is actually "is lying right or wrong" but rather is the omission of certain truths(ie being a member here) an admission of guilt on part of either you or him. In my opinion,i would have to say if your wondering what else he's keeping from you, the bonds of trust that you used to share is somewhat tainted for one reason or another, and if you feel strongly enough about it, you may want to talk about it. people in general have a way of avoiding confrontation because their afraid of a negative result...if he's just here "checking you out" you may want to ask yourself and him why he feels the need to do that, and is THAT a good or a bad thing?
or maybe i've just watched one too many dr. phil

rm_pussnballs4u 61M/54F
326 posts
8/16/2006 7:51 am

Not so sure its lying if you are just denying information to protect your privacy. Maybe the questions asked were what was out of bounds here.


funindusseldorf 38M

8/16/2006 9:07 am

Well "2daycowboywanted" after joining here, I think the thing about your ommission of the facts to each other could stem from the fact that many people view this kind of website and activity as being clandestine and 'wrong'. I would imagine that on your part this is the case, but it does seem a little suspect him 'checking' on you. Why? For other reasons than being a caring friend? That is the question I think you have...

What reason was making you not want to reveal a more intimate detail of your life to him?

multitasksextoy 58M  
3511 posts
8/16/2006 12:22 pm

Don't make a mountain out of an ant hill,always check your motives!!

shaper007 51M

8/17/2006 5:12 am

We are all here for our own reasons... some just to break up the boredom of their day!!!

I have to ask the question of why someone would pay money to be a gold member if they are supposedly not doing anything on here!!!...

To me that is a blatant lie!!!

You are here because you want to be, you do not have to justify your reasons!!!

rm_cutechubby8 46F
3428 posts
8/17/2006 11:15 am

    Quoting shaper007:
    We are all here for our own reasons... some just to break up the boredom of their day!!!

    I have to ask the question of why someone would pay money to be a gold member if they are supposedly not doing anything on here!!!...

    To me that is a blatant lie!!!

    You are here because you want to be, you do not have to justify your reasons!!!
That was my first thought, apart from all the misunderstandings - why would he pay just to monitor what you are doing? It sounds a bit creepy to me! And how would he know out of all the profiles which was yours? Be glad there is ring on your finger, I think he's showing his true colours and it doesn't look pretty! Doesn't sound like a "friend" to me. Good luck it's not an easy one - either way you lose!!

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