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 | Blogs > emersunbigguns > Blossoms from the Fart Garden > The World Can Be A Dangerous Place |
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In my early twenties I partied a lot with my drinking buddies. Along with two drinking buddies, I had devised a game we played when going from one bar to another. Rather than availing ourselves of the toilet when leaving a bar, we would waddle out the door like scalded penguins, with full bladders and play our little game to determine who bought the first round at the next bar. We had elevated the simple act of urination to the status of a sport: we would step into an alley to relieve ourselves and compete to see who could pee the highest up on a wall. Low man would buy the next round. One of my buddies, a cowboy from Utah, had mastered the art of the "head squeeze." Jack was able to squeeze the head of his penis and fire a stream of urine to unprecedented heights. I have actually witnessed him piss on the roof of a one-story structure while both feet were firmly planted on the ground. My other buddy, Fritz, was totally demoralized by Jacks abilities. Realizing he didn't stand a chance in the competition, he became distracted by a knothole in a fence enclosing a private dwelling. Fritz decided he would stick his weenie through this knothole, which was conveniently located at crotch height, and pee into someone's yard.  click to enlarge The gods smiled on Fritz that night. Just before his organ of urination entered the knothole, there was a series of maniacal barks and much gnashing and snapping of huge fangs on the other side of the hole. If this huge Akita, German Shepard, or whatever, had just controlled itself for a split-second more, it could have dined on a prime American sausage . (It would not have been the full meal that would have been hanging from a John Holmes or a Long Dong Silver, but it would have been a worthwhile tidbit nonetheless.)  The Key To A Man's Shart  |
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6/30/2008 12:52 am |
 The Key To A Man's Shart
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6/30/2008 12:51 am |
roflmao Emers .. Boys will play silly buggers  The Key To A Man's Shart
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6/30/2008 12:48 am |
I cant help myself.. I gotta do this... its YOUR fault. emersun was walking past the local insane asylum. He could hear them all chanting 13 13 13 13 .. Curious, he found a hole in the fence and stuck his eye to it so he could see in and see what they were doing. Suddenly some stuck a sharp stick in his eye. As Emersun lay writhing on the ground, holding his hand over his wounded eye.. he could hear them chanting once more.....14 14 14 14 The Key To A Man's Shart
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6/8/2008 10:39 pm |
I cant help myself.. I gotta do this... its YOUR fault. emersun was walking past the local insane asylum. He could hear them all chanting 13 13 13 13 .. Curious, he found a hole in the fence and stuck his eye to it so he could see in and see what they were doing. Suddenly some stuck a sharp stick in his eye. As Emersun lay writhing on the ground, holding his hand over his wounded eye.. he could hear them chanting once more.....14 14 14 14
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 6/5/2008 6:41 pm |
roflmao Emers .. Boys will play silly buggers Weed The Earth To Find Your Rose
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6/5/2008 6:06 pm |
          SMILES & HUGZ  Bonna & Jeff    GUEST BOOK A Stiff One Men are like...... Lord Byron
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