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7/6/2007 10:50 am
Last Read:
2/11/2008 4:40 pm
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Hi everyone, hope your 4th was great!
The summer is finally here and vacation plans are being laid and fulfilled all over the country (or some are just being laid). I suddenly had a thought that a few wine tips would come in real handy, just about now to all my friends. Being that I have a certain amount of knowledge in the wine connoisseur area, and I am more then willing to share what I know with you, here it is my dears:
First of, one would have to establish the difference between the reds and the whites. The easiest way to determine the type is by splashing some on a white table cloth. The wine that leaves a purplish stain is the red one. Real connoisseurs can tell from just the taste. The white in general tastes like vinegar, whereas the red tastes somewhat like postal stamping ink. Thus, if one is not sure, if it is white or red, one can suck on a regular postal office stamp pad, and compare the taste. Voila, you now know what red taste like.
With seafood, such as Fried Catfish or Fish-sticks, most prefer to serve a white wine, while one should always serve red wine with most meat dishes, such as: Meatloaf or Sloppy Joe.
House Wine is something that one would serve ones guests in ones house. If one does not have a house, a stairwell or elevator will nicely suffice.
To wild game a Wild Wine is strongly recommended, while if one is barbecuing, the meat becomes charred, a Chardonnay is just the right thing to enjoy.
Port Wine should be the choice while vacationing on a yacht that is pulling into port. If one is not on a yacht, a cruise ship, a fishing boat or even a rowboat, will do just as well.
When serving Dry Wines, one should make sure that there is no cross-drafts, or that none of the guest will feel a sudden urge to sneeze, in such mentioned scenario the wine could end up as dust all over ones home. When serving a dry wine it is thereby also recommended that one keeps a "Dust-Buster" close by.
If one will be carrying the bottles from the liquor store all by oneself, it is recommended that one purchases a Light Wine.
Things difficult to say once one has imbibed in to much wine:
- Unsurpassed
- Innovative
- Preliminary
- Redistribute
Things very difficult to say once one have imbibed in to much wine:
- Lexicography
- Constitutionality
- Substantiate
- Washing machine
Things near impossible to say when one have imbibed in waaaay to much wine:
- No thank you, no more alcohol for me!
- Sorry, but you're not my type! |
 
 The Swedish Ängel 
I'm NOT stupid..... I'm BLOND!
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6887 posts 2/11/2008 4:40 pm |
Quoting HSVrocketman:
[post 1097277] Turn about is fair play...here is one I did on drinking...
On my way..... 
The Swedish Ängel
I'm NOT stupid..... I'm BLOND!
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6887 posts 2/11/2008 4:40 pm |
Quoting HSVrocketman:
Excellent...  Thanks for giving me the link.
You are welcome! 
The Swedish Ängel
I'm NOT stupid..... I'm BLOND!
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4265 posts 1/29/2008 8:25 pm |
[post 1097277] Turn about is fair play...here is one I did on drinking...
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4265 posts 1/29/2008 8:23 pm |
Excellent... Thanks for giving me the link.
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7752 posts 7/10/2007 5:12 pm |
I have to figure out a menu before I can buy?
Maybe I'll just go get a case of light wine. That should do the trick.
Very funny post. 
SverigesAngel replies on 7/10/2007 6:36 pm:
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! |
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10805 posts 7/8/2007 8:08 pm |
All I know about wine is that the really good ones are available in gallon jugs with twist tops!
Mr. Faded Glory is once again doin' time...
SverigesAngel replies on 7/10/2007 6:40 pm:
Oh, see I learned something new. I thought it was the ones in boxes with a tap on them, that was really stellar! |
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31640 posts 7/8/2007 12:44 am |
very funny post hun ....am still grinning from ear to ear here ....
~ Bad-Assed Cocksucking Witch ~
 
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SverigesAngel replies on 7/8/2007 1:06 am:
Was trying to think of some more wines, but was getting tired. The Chardonnay was a little bit of a stretch, so I figured my brain had had enough, and went to pour myself a glass of wine! Merlot if you wonder, and I couldn't find anything funny about that one. |
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48570 posts 7/7/2007 9:48 pm |
And some wonder why I stick with beer... it's good for what ales ya~
~jeff
~spunky
SverigesAngel replies on 7/7/2007 10:40 pm:
I had to lay of beer!  Age and calories don't work well together. |
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2127 posts 7/7/2007 2:26 pm |
 Geez! I've actually had red wine with a Sloppy Joe
 
SverigesAngel replies on 7/7/2007 5:40 pm:
That's what I said, it goes great together! |
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12801 posts 7/7/2007 4:49 am |
lmao... good thing i'm not much of a wine drinker... kisses.  |
SverigesAngel replies on 7/7/2007 10:58 am:
 A Greek who does not drink wine!!!!!!!!!! {=} |
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