1realdarlin 47F
601 posts
7/6/2006 6:49 pm

Last Read:
5/30/2011 7:03 pm


Before i go to bitching, keep in mind, i know we are here for our own reasons.
I cant stand cheaters!!!
I cant get a simple date lately and i see all these people that have a husband/wife at home waiting on em and they are out screwing around on em. Why is it people cant be happy with what they have?
I do enjoy seeing who responds to the cheaters looking to cheat, that lets me know more of what kinda person that they are.
Yes i am ranting and bitching and damnit i deserve to sometimes, deal with it!
I think of the man thats out workin his ass off so the woman can stay home and not have to work a FT job, just stay home with the kids if they have em. Yes i raised 2 kids and worked 2 FT jobs sometimes so dont think i had it easy before u say it!! And here is the woman looking to go off for a "lunch" quickie.
I think its the woman cheaters that bug me more than the men. Maybe cuz im more used to the men doin it i dunno or maybe the woman that do that give us faithful women a bad name, making the good men not trust us.
Then theres the men that go off cheatin on the woman that will do anything for em and in my head if only it was talked about, they say communication is the key to any successful relationship, right?
Make sense? I dont care actually, i said my peice and im sure pissed some off in the process. Just remember u do what u will and so will i.
My conscience is clean is yours?
Grabs my box and wanders off...........Darlin

sensualgirfriend 58F

7/6/2006 7:25 pm

i was viewing a bunch of articles answering a man's question, 'should i cheat'?

the majority of the responses go like this in general:

-If you're married and are not having sex, why are you 'still' married?
-If you're married and not getting enough sex, either be satisfied with what you have or get out; everyone will be happier.
-If you're unhappy in the marriage and looking elsewhere, try everything, talking, counseling, romance, etc etc and if that doesn't work, it's time to separate at least; and then move towards a divorce so that you can both get on with your lives.

Those were the comments in a 'nutshell' from people.

As for me, I had a pretty horrible experience with a married man several years ago, who was 'very unhappy and disconnected from his wife for 15 years'. He was separated and filing for divorce. Uh huh.

The long saga ends with him stopping all communication with me and he is back with his wife, unhappy, but still having all of his money--oh yes, that's a lot of money to lose to someone you aren't in love with anymore. I believe in marriage, but is it more of a business arrangement these days? I'm not sure. In the 'old' days, people married, worked it out, and died married for 50 or 60 years! Goodtimes and badtimes. Arranged marriages, lots of kids. Not always ideal, I know, but....they 'stuck it out, together'.

Nope. Cheating isn't worth it. It will end in tears for one or the other person.

I guess I say get out of the relationship, move on if you're unhappy. Yes, it takes courage and is a risk; maybe you won't find anyone else. At least the 'playing field' will be equal, then.

Just a few random, but focused thoughts for ya.

--sensualgf sensualgirfriend

1realdarlin replies on 7/6/2006 7:31 pm:
Thank u for those thoughts. I agree, if ur unhappy get out, thats what i did and i paid for all of it.

kisslicksuckit 66M
29 posts
7/6/2006 8:10 pm

Darlin, why do some women tire of a sex life? A wife can be sweet, charming, outwardly the ideal wife; but, behing that green door, she becomes cold and non-responsive. She doesn't know why anyone would want sex more than once a month or longer because "we don't want to make it too routine." When the spouse wants sex two or three times a week, this becomes a problem. That hard throbbing unching out the front of his pants has to be taken care of some way. To find a woman that may be looking for the same thing in a consenting manner is bettter than getting arrested for soliciting a undercover police woman. Because the wife is a good wife, there is love and a bond between them; that is why he supports her, comes back to share a life with's just the lack of a sexual relationship that is missing! Is this cheating when no one gets left out of something they crave? I think you could consider the reasons first, see if the individual is honest in their intentions, if a fuk buddy is what is desired and found, then who is hurting?

1realdarlin replies on 7/7/2006 12:58 am:
kiss, i do understand what u r saying,but, i believe in a marriage,unless open to both and together there should be no other. Thats where the communication comes into play. I will never understand a woman that tires of sex, i never see me being like that. LOL but i am not married anymore so what do i know anyways? I wish u luck and hope u find all u are looking for

rm_artydawg 44M
26 posts
7/14/2006 12:59 pm

hmm, what can I say about this. What I will say is that cheating is totally unexusible. I was Faithfully married for 7 years. The whole time I had every oppertunity in the world, and I mean world, to cheat. I was in the Navy and have spent several months on end half a planet away from my wife with every temptation known to man thrown at me. If you love your spouse, and more importantly respect them, then keep your underused dick in your pants or if it's that important to you, GET THE FUCK OUT OF IT. I hold honesty, fadelidy, and faithfulness as a very high standard. If you can't be faithful, be honest. Ask yourself, is this person that I am about to sleep with someone that my spouse would sleep with. Is any possible disease that they may have be something that my spouse wants also. Let them make those disissions, don't make them for 'em.

I'm sorry about the rant but I have been divorced for 5 years now due to my wife fucking 2 of my best friends then leaving me for another. I have no diseases or anything, just really fucken bitter and hate it when people don't respect thier mate enough to deal with a "we" situation vise a "me" one.

As for you realdarlin, there are still some real men out there. don't get discouraged. I say the same thing about women yet I still have my line in the water.

Man, I feel like an asshole now. I really am a nice guy and can talk about anything. Sex, politics, religion, what the fastest bird is, but dammit, ya wanna get me fired up, talk about cheating.

once again, sorry real. keep up the good posts

rm_88happysexx 53M

7/15/2006 10:06 am

Sorry you feel like that. Being the one who has always enjoyed sex. I do not see my going elsewhere as a problem. I have been married 10 yrs. And unfortunitly, Have not had sex with my wife in 5 1/2 yrs. She does not enjoy or want anything to do with sex. She has told me several times to get it elsewhere and just don't tell her. (more or less don't gloat.) In fact she has asked me to get a vasectomy. So we don't ruin a good thing. She says Im a great husband, Provider, And a great father. And I deserve to be happy. Neither my wife nor myself want a divorce. We just understand each other have some different wants and needs. We get along and enjoy all other aspects in our lives. I am not a jealous person. And would be willing to let her go elsewhere if she wanted. (I have shared girlfriends in my past.) But again, she has no interest in sex. I will not fault her for it. Anymore than she will fault me for enjoying sex. I do not consider it cheating. And neither does she. Unfortunitly, many like yourself do for some reason. While enjoy any sex they can. Difference, I don't know?

rm_88happysexx 53M

7/15/2006 12:18 pm

Sorry, hope I was bitchin. While following the rules my wife, and myself live by in our marriage. I get faulted for not living by others standards. Well sorry, but if we all lived by others standards. There wouldn't be an AdultFriendFinder. Taking my box and leaving.

rm_artydawg 44M
26 posts
7/17/2006 5:47 am

88happy, dude you are an individual case that you and your wife kinda have this sudo agreement. so no, it's not really cheating when both partners are aware of it. If I were in your particular situation, I would hope that I had a wife who would understand and not want me to have to suffer due to her lack of desire, which sounds to me like a physical issue more then a mental one.

My comment was directed more towards the kisslick type guy, who's wife doesn't know about it or is ok with "cheating". He say's, "Is this cheating when no one gets left out of something they crave?". Well, how about something as simple as a blowjob. If my wife doesn't give head but I love to have my dick sucked, is it cheating when I go out and find another woman to suck my dick because I simply "crave it"? If she tells me to go find a woman to suck my dick, game on. If she would be upset, possibly divorce you for it, don't even think about it. The easiest way around this situation is communication, who knows, she may not want to have sex but she may enjoy watching or ok with you getting elsewhere. But like I said, that is something both should be in agreement with.

sorry darlin, you can have the podium back now

RavishingRed1062 54F

7/17/2006 7:43 am

I tend to avoid the married man, unless it's an open relationship where the wife knows.

I do not pass jugement on anyone married who does have sex with someone else, even without the spouses knowlege. That is between them and either their God or their lawyer, I think.

BUT. . . it riles my panties into such the TIGHT WAD... when I do run into one of these men who has that 'she is perfect in every way" wives at home, "except she dosesn't like sex".

FUCK THAT SHIT.... I deserve to be happy too. I deserve to have a husband or companion who feels like I"m perfect in everyway too.. AND, I fucking LOVE TO FUCK!!!! So no, the rational that it's ok to want ME to settle for a stolen hour here or there... mid-afternoon drive-by-fucks.... and the other 'scraps' you throw my way.... while your "almost perfect' wife gets the entire dinner. NOPE.. not gonna happen.

Now... if you manage to find that married woman who loves her ALMOST perfect husband who just doesn't like to fuck... and the two of you go off into perfect afternoon fuck bliss... then that is just great.

But STOP thinking that single women like me... who are strugling to raise kids, pay bills and get to that AMERICAN DREAM... alone and by herself, is gonna be HAPPY to suck your dick or fuck your brains out JUST because your loving and perfect wife no longer cares to...

I sincerely do not direct this to anyone who has posted... but just one time, those of you who use this rational to justify what you do.. THINK how it makes me feel to hear how sexy you think I am.... how exciting you think I am.... how wonderful... yada yada yada... BUT, the wife at home who is cold and unresponsive is the one who GETS the 'perfect' title.... it is almost like a slap in the face, ya know?

Ok... now where are we storing those soap boxes? *taking mine away as well*

rm_88happysexx 53M

7/17/2006 2:38 pm

Sorry. I never meant to give the impression she is perfect. And does this mean that. Everytime you meet someone on AdultFriendFinder. You hope it will become serious? Or is it more to fulfill a need? Just like myself? I do not intend anyone to take scraps. I would hope to find someone, that could also be a close friend and confidant. Have lunch or other time with,from time to time. Without anything sexual implied. Yes, if I could find someone else. That is married, and in a similar situation. That would be choice. Know any? I must apologize to Darlin. For writing all this in your blog. Don't mean to seem like I'm bitchin. But you know my story now. Please take my box, and burn it.

rm_artydawg 44M
26 posts
7/17/2006 4:56 pm

I'm sorry ravishing, I never did address your side of the situation as I was thinking more along the lines of fuck buddies. your situation throws a whole other twist into this topic. Once again, back to the root of the matter, communication. Everyone involved, beit a married couple with the fling on the side or someone who is just a sex freak that can't satisfy there desire from home, everyone involved should be on the same page. If one is not ok with whats going on, that should be the end of it.

88, are you happy to live your life settling for "not perfect". Your wife is your queen, she is the person that you gave your heart to, she is everything. If she isn't "perfect" and you are ok with "settling", well, I feel that your self esteem is very low and you need to look at yourself before you drag yourself and your "not so perfect wife" down a road destined for a hurtfull failure.

Not that I am trying to say that I am some Mr. Perfect myself but, I have been single for a long time. And the reason is because, I WILL NOT "SETTLE". The woman that I will marry will be perfect, she will be my queen, and I will give her all the respect that I expect in return. If I die single because I never fins this woman, so beit. I will atleast die knowing that I never cheated my wife out of the 100% commitment and respect that she deserved.

Nice collection of soap box end tables started here

RavishingRed1062 54F

7/17/2006 11:56 pm

I so did not mean that rant to come off as mean and negative as it did. No, I do not make every person I meet a potential serious relationship either.

I just take exception to that one thing... and seriously do not think that married men ever take the time to walk that proverbial 'mile in my shoe' as a single woman, ya know?

Sure... there are a LOT of single women out there who prefer married men because it feels safe from the risk of falling in love. I use to be one a long time ago. But now... I think and feel that I short change myself if I 'settle' for only a taste.. when I might want the full course.. ya know?

But... I do wish you much luck and happy cooking.

rm_88happysexx 53M

7/18/2006 7:32 am

Arty, Had the fire dept. save my box. Just like some husbands love football. And their wife hates it. Does not mean she should leave him, because he's not perfect. In a relationship. Many things may not be perfect. But you don't just throw it away because of it. At least, if you have a strong commitment? You adjust, and support the others interests.(whatever it is) (For better or worse.)TO SETTLE. Is knowing the situation, and getting married anyways.

RavishingRed1062 54F

7/18/2006 7:55 am

AND... BTW... my reponse was directed more to kisslicksuckit than you... re-read HIS post and then read mine.

That's the type of attitude that makes my blood boil.

rm_artydawg 44M
26 posts
7/18/2006 12:48 pm

88, I was not intending to attack you. I said that as long as you and your wife have that arrangement, cool party on. As for the perfect comment, I hold strong on what I say.

Your football analogy was a trivial thing, like saying that because she wears panties and you don't makes you not perfect for eachother.
All I'm saying is you owe it to your wife and she owes it to you, to be the most perfect person in the world to eachother.

You sound like you have a good marrage, an understanding marrage, a marrage with a great deal of give and take. You sould concider yourself a very lucky man.

But this is getting way off the point of reds original rant. DON"T CHEAT, have more respect for the one you "LOVE". communicate communicate communicate. As for me, I have a "friendship" with a married woman, but her husband knows, is good with it, and hell is even wanting to be there. Not cheating.

So as long as your wife is cool about it, rock on.

GraspCrownRusts 46M
780 posts
7/26/2006 7:45 am

I started reading this post because I am a fan of Red's stuff - that's how I came to be here.

I agree with what 1realdarlin initially said - she stated her opinion, her preference - it is how it works for her. Then came kisslicksuckit (or something like that - don't make me scroll up She listened to his opinion and heard what he was saying - although she respectfully and gracefully disagreed with it.

Now, we all have our preferences - mostly shaped by our experiences and the views of the society we happen to live in. Some of us have been cheated on before - and we got hurt. Some have done the cheating. Some have done both. Some have done none. In some societies in the world, what we call "cheating" is almost expected and anticipated and certainly accepted.

"To each, his own."

Your preference may not be another's preference. Your reasons for that preference are not going to be the same as another's.

Sex is a part of us. It is who and what we are at our most primal as animals who roam this planet. How you decide to participate in sex becomes your preference - whether it is in a monogamous relationship, or not, is your own choice.

I am glad there are some who feel strongly for any opinion they have - I love to hear from people who live their lives "on purpose" instead of going through the motions.

I appreciate the debate, but "soap-boxes" are entirely un-needed - makes me feel like I am being preached and dictated to instead of engaged in a discussion...

Oh, and appropriately enough, "Happy Humpin' Day" everyone!...

DR_mustang 46M

7/28/2006 4:14 pm

I hate cheaters myself, with very good reasons. I was the dumb guy who worked all the time to take care of my wife and children. I worked nights while she was going out on the town. My mother in law would watch the children(thanks mil) I never made my wife work,didn't expect her to. I never cheated on her,and by not doing it, it didn't mean I was unable to. I got married forever, and she got married for a paycheck. Yes it does put a bitter taste in my mouth for ever being able to trust another woman..I enjoyed your post 1 real darlin,would like to believe you truly feel this way.Just my two cents....ribbit

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