Hysterical Emails!  

1girlrevolution 47F
314 posts
3/19/2006 4:24 pm

Last Read:
3/21/2006 8:01 pm

Hysterical Emails!

Hysterical Emails

Initial email:
HELLO IM SAM AND IM INTERESTED IN BECOMING SEXUAL PLAYMATES WITH YOU. I LOVE ORAL ANAL AND VAGINAL SEX. PLEASE CHECK ME OUT AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOUD LIKE TO DO. I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.

Response:
OK, but STOP YELLING AT ME! Gosh.


Initial email:
I'm your typical married/without sex husband. I love my wife, but I have needs, too. Up front and to the point looking for a playmate for some no-strings 1 on 1 casual sexual relationship that gives us both what we're looking for. Drop me a line only if you're looking for some discreet once or twice a week fun with no strings attached.

Response:
It sounds like you really love your wife, especially when you ask a woman you don’t know to have sex with you. I really love the thought of the wrath of a scorned wife on my ass.


Initial email:
hello,
we are a married couple, in our late 30's. she is 504 140 has blondish hair with green eyes, very attractive, very responsive and oral. he is 6ft 180, has brown hair and green eyes. good looking and endowed. seeking another female for special friendship with benefits. we have teenagers so need to be discrete. not able to load any pictures on here because of the same reason. willing to meet at public place and go from there. please write back. we are also new to this, but hoping for some new contacts for friends.

Response:
It’s nice that you share the same computer that you sex shop for with your teenagers. How impressive. And I can appreciate being discreet like meeting at a public place. Let’s be friends. Sure.


Initial email:
See what you think. I am fun, funny, well traveled, educated, a great cook and a monster in bed. I think we could have a lot of fun. You can email or wink back if you have interest. Hope to hear from you

Response:
I’m afraid of monsters.


Initial Email:
Hello, and I am glad I saw your lovely photos and fantastic, inspiring, candid profile! I am on the run to my business and meetings, so please check over my pics and profile for details on an exceptional, intelligent/educated, very fit, witty, honest, trusting, erotic, cool professional gentleman. I am Frank at, xxxdotnet, or with trust find me on cell, xxx-xxx-xxxx...single in Colorado.

Response:
Since you were “on the run” when you wrote your email will you also be “on the run” when it comes to dating? I think this is one I don’t have time for. Sorry, gotta run!


Initial email:
You sound like someone I'd like to get to know better.

Response:
You don’t.


Initial email:
Hope you like them (photos) and look we have the same couch.

Response:
No, yours is Polish naugahide and mine is Natuzzi fine leather. Big difference.


Initial email:
Ha girl, I'm like all the things in your profiles. I have only been single for a year.As you I am looking for good friends romance and great sex.I would like to here back only if your in for a handsome guy that has his life together.
thanks

Response:
The last thing I want is a handsome guy that has his life together. No way.


Initial email:
How are you? You are a very lovely woman(far better if you had an extra 10 pounds on ya! ). I am a very romantic person, but that seems hard to find here on AdultFriendFinder? True, no one can fuck 24/7....but oh what fun

Response:
It sounds like you’re romantic when you suggest I pad on an extra 10 lbs. Thanks. After having two kids and working my ass off to get thin again it’s nice to have the suggestion of getting fat again. And really . . . what fun to fuck 24/7 . . . I’d rather paint my nails.



rm_magnet4u22 49F
18406 posts
3/19/2006 4:48 pm

Too funny!! I just got one from a 66 year old man telling me how horny he was because he was to big for his partner!



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007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
3/19/2006 5:20 pm

Oh those are so funny. Thanks for sharing.

o-o7sexy40plus

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"


Straycatsetsuko 61F

3/19/2006 5:37 pm

Yeah, I'll tell ya, there are some real prizewinners on this board. One guy got in touch with me, wanted to cuddle in front of my fireplace. I suggested coffee first, you know, to see if I really want to cuddle with him, and vice versa. Never heard from him again. Then there was the guy 15 years younger than I am, has 2 kids young enough to need him. It says specifically in my profile that I'm not into younger men, and not into more kids, not even someone else's. I'm a grandmother of 2, for crying out loud. I told him that, he sent me this nasty rude e-mail, cursing me for not wanting to date a guy with younger kids. Yeesh!

Hey, guys, READ THE PROFILE. Man alive!


MONA_14 30F

3/20/2006 12:11 pm

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