A couple of jokes I got this week  

1LovelyBrunette 41F
313 posts
4/20/2006 5:42 pm

Last Read:
5/4/2006 7:33 pm

A couple of jokes I got this week

I edited this joke a little:

the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:
Teaching Math In 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?

Teaching Math In 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your assignment : Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers).

Teaching Math In 2005

Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera por $100. El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantas tortillas se puede comprar?

Make me feel like a woman

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightening.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells,
"Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a
WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril.

They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then a man from Texas stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.....! One button at a time.
...No one moves...He removes his shirt.
...Muscles ripple across his chest.
She gasps.
He whispers...
"Iron this -- then get me a beer."

Daddy Longlegs
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.
"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment,then took her foot and stomped them flat.

"Well, we're not having any of that gay shit in our garden." she said.


Jeepidiot 42M

4/20/2006 6:55 pm

Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera por $100. El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantas tortillas se puede comprar?

It's so true too.


1LovelyBrunette replies on 4/20/2006 8:08 pm:
Isnt it though! LOL Im glad you understand *S*

rm_truedom2 55M
663 posts
4/20/2006 6:57 pm

LMFAO!


1LovelyBrunette replies on 4/20/2006 8:09 pm:
Glad to see laughter!

Wordsmith2004 36M
7233 posts
4/20/2006 10:16 pm

Make me feel like a woman comment----- HEY she promised she'd never tell!!

well, at least she keep me and the mini me anonyomous! lol

good stuuuuff!

Conserve Water and Prevent Global Warming: Shower With A MILF!


1LovelyBrunette replies on 4/21/2006 3:29 pm:
I thought she was talking about you Wordy the moment they mentioned Texas man

rm_cragger12 46M

5/3/2006 7:53 pm

Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera por $100. El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantas tortillas se puede comprar?

Wow, and just think now they have the Star Spangled Banner in Spanish.


1LovelyBrunette replies on 5/4/2006 7:34 pm:
Imagine that!!

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