|Blogs > 1DazedNConfuzed1 > Debauchery & Mayhem|
If anyone ever wants to date me, this would be a form they had to fill out in triplicate; be sent through the approval process which may take YEARS.
THE NEW WAY TO APPROVE A MAN
(In the way of a Credit Application)
Last First Middle
Address City State Zip
Telephone: Home # Work# Cell#
Date of Birth: Age SS#
Ethnicity: (check) Black Hispanic White Other
Do you live with any of the following: (circle)
Grandmother Parents Mother Father Girlfriend Baby Mama Alone
Shelter Wife Auntie Other
Any Children (circle yes or no)
Yes No If yes, how many
How many Baby Mamas? If more than one, please name below. Use separate sheet of paper if need more room.
Ever been married (circle ) Yes No
If yes, how many times?
Are you or have you ever been on the Down Low? (circle one) Yes No (If you answer "Yes" STOP RIGHT HERE!!)
Do you owe child support? Yes No Don't Know
*If your ex-wife is getting state benefits (childcare, food stamps, etc), then you owe somebody something. Especially tax payers. STOP HERE and go take care of your dang kids
Did you graduate from high school? (circle ) Yes No Name of high school (if yes)
Have you received any of the following? (Circle One) GED Diploma Nothing
*If you did not complete any of the above, please STOP HERE and return to school.
Any college? (circle one) Yes No Still Enrolled: Yes No Graduated
Have you ever been to jail? (circle one) Yes No If yes, what for? (be very specific)
Have you ever been to prison? (circle one) Yes No
*If you have answered yes to the above question, please STOP HERE and call your P.O. immediately.
Employed? (circle) Yes No
*If no, please STOP HERE?
If yes, where and how long?
Do you have health insurance? Yes No
When did you last visit the dentist?
When was the last time you have been to the doctor? _ Yes No
List any (all) illnesses. Use separate sheet of paper if needed.
Do you have or have you had any of the following?
(please circle all that may apply)
Hepatitis A or B or C
The Bird Flu
West Nile Virus
Something that you can't spell
*If you have circled any of these, STOP HERE do NOT turn in your application. See the doctor immediately!
Do you or have you ever used (ingested in any way) any of the following: (circle all that apply)
Crack/Cocaine Heroin Paint Markers Ecstasy Glue Bad pills Snuff
Anything under the kitchen sink
*Please use a separate sheet of paper to compile a list of goals and accomplishments.
By signing below, you agree that all of the information given above is true to the best of your knowledge. For my protection, you may be asked to provide the following information upon request: state ID, birth certificate, recent payroll stub, a recent clean bill of health from a certified physician or practitioner.
Falsifying information may result in termination of this relationship (if applicable), and a severe ass whooping by my project cousins Pookie, Ray-Ray, Darnell, Lil Krazy or all of the above.
Applicants Signature Date:
Print Name :
6/14/2006 11:05 am
OMG....too funny g/f.....but oh so true |
Things will get better (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
6/14/2006 4:26 pm
That is very extensive but well done. That is longer than applying for a government security clearance. LOL
6/15/2006 7:34 pm
I still need to show you the 27-page application for Mistress Safira taking-on applicants. |
*Love you, Baby Sis*
This is my blog - Comes With Warning Labels. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
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