Guess who hit this?
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Posted:May 11, 2006 7:07 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2006 3:57 pm
1217 Views
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byecouple3 were the winners of my contest. Why did they (he) win, do you ask? Well, I guess I thought the tattoos were hot. (His wife is pretty fucking hot too!)
I'll tell you one thing. I have never been fingered like that before. Holy crap! Talk about magic fingers. The intense, repeated g-spot orgasms were absolutely amazing. I have to admit that it was almost too much fun. Yes, it is possible to have too much fun during sex. I am one of those rare female creatures that has absolutely no problem orgasming during sex. In fact, a lot of the time I have to make my partner stop or slow down because it gets to be too much.
And the oral sex. Wow. Just wow. It was awesome, incredible, amazing and exhausting. I am going to run out of adjectives soon. He had the exact right rhythm. Fuck, writing this post is making me horny. I may have to go and take a wank break soon. I sure hope I get to fuck him again.
Ok so before I go and take my "break" I was just wondering if there are any other women out there that are like me in the orgasm department. Are you the type of gal that needs a lot of stimulating to get off or do you get off from non-genital contact? Sometimes I can be sitting at my computer thinking about sex or talking dirty to somebody and I can have an orgasm, without even touching myself. And sometimes those are the most intense types of orgasms of all.
So if anybody is actually reading this, what kind of orgasms do you have and what kind do you like best? Comments are definitely appreciated.
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Sex or Housework?
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Posted:Apr 27, 2006 5:20 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2006 3:56 pm
1188 Views
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I read in the Star Phoenix yesterday about a survey that found that most women would choose housework over sex.
I read this and thought, the world has gone fucking crazy when even one woman in her right mind would choose housework over sex. But a majority of women????
WHAT THE HELL??
So here I made plans to make some trips to the dump aka The Boutique Seagull and get rid of all the trash in my yard and the remains of the fence I destroyed last week. And a bunch of other boring yard work that you don't want to hear about.
And I have a huge list of attractive men I plan to have sex with one of these days but I just can't seem to ever find the time....
So does this mean I am choosing yard work over sex? What does this say about me?
Oh yeah, I guess it's cool cause I get to use a chainsaw and murder some trees. I can have sex anytime but it's not often that I get to murder innocent life forms with power tools. The only thing I like more than food and sex is using power tools. OHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!
So if anybody actually reads this, tell me why you think that women choose housework over sex. Is it because men are THAT incompetent? Or maybe housework lasts longer.
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Open Relationships
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Posted:Apr 19, 2006 11:33 am
Last Updated:May 1, 2006 4:55 pm
1347 Views
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Just think about the term "open relationship" for just one minute. What kind of images does it conjure up? Do you think of a commune of naked, long-haired hippies all living together and raising their 25896 , all smoking dope and loving each other? Except for all the , that doesn't sound half bad. But even the term open relationship seems just a little shaky or freakish or weird. OK, fine I still have a few hang-ups to get over but whatever, one thing at a time.
You see, me and my significant other had "the talk" about making the jump to having an open relationship. He had had a few of them in the past and assured me it was tons of fun. I have to admit that the idea of going out and having random sex really appealed to me for a whole bunch of reasons.
1. I have a much higher sex drive than my sweety. Much higher. I am always bugging him for sex, it NEVER happens that he is in the mood and I am not.
2. Come on, what could be better than having a penis buffet? I have always wanted to do groups, women or maybe even bring home a couple. The horny slut in me is EXTACTIC at the thought of this.
Seriously, what the hell could possibly be wrong with having an open relationship?
The whole problem with it is that I have a few hang-ups to get over. The first time my sweety went out and hooked up I was totally jealous. I couldn't understand it. I gave him permission. I wanted him to hook up with some hot poon. But then he goes and does it and I get jealous? Fuck I hate having a female brain sometimes.
Another problem I was having was my own guilt over my sexual nature. I was in this really shitty relationship (Yes, every single woman has had one and yes I am going to bore you by telling you about it) with an extremely jealous guy. If I wore a bathing suit outside of the house in 30 degree Celsius weather he would freak out because all the guys in the world were looking at my tits. Most guys would be proud to have a gf with nice tits that other guys can look at, but OH NO. Mr. Sexual Repression always had to get his panties in a twist over something stupid. And I still had baggage because of this. I have always felt a little ashamed of my intense sex drive, even with all the fun it has brought me.
So I was OK with my man hooking up but the thought of actually doing it myself made me feel kind of ashamed of myself. And with all those stupid, horrid, scary thoughts rampaging through my brain, it makes actually going out and having sex all the more scary and difficult.
But I was determined to make this work. My jealousy is stupid and irrational. I know this and knowing this I am just going to get the fuck over myself. So I put up a profile on AdultFriendFinder and started chatting with guys.
I ended up getting an email from this muscly, bodybuilder type guy. Not the type of guy I usually go for, but what the hell? I usually go for "smaller" guys, not the heavily built ones. I don't know why, I guess I just get stuck in a rut. But after all, hooking up is just about going for variety and having a good time. After exchanging a few emails I knew I was going to go out and fuck this guy.
So we met in a public place, not telling which one, in case a bunch of pervs start hanging out there and wait for me to show up. Hmmm actually that would be kind of hot. OK back to my tale of hooking up. When I first laid eyes on the guy my first thought was "He is huge, there is no way I can go through with this. No way." But after chatting with him for a bit I felt a little more at ease and decided to forget about everything and just go for it.
So I said, "Let's get out of here." And that is what we did. He asked me if I was still interested, in a sheepish sort of a way and I was all, "OH HELL YEAH! Let's do this." So he drove me to his place, telling me the whole time what a nice ass I have and touching my tits, which I fucking love. I can orgasm just by having my tits played with right. True fucking story.
There we are, at his place, lighting candles and getting naked. I had a fucking blast. I really did. The guy was amazing to look at. It was like he walked out of one of those body building magazines. I have never been very visual in the bedroom, partly because I am near sighted as Mr. Magoo and nobody wears glasses while they fuck. That would be kind of awkward. So imagine if you will the ripped muscly guy. He basically worshipped my tits, ass and pussy for the entire night. He is an amazing oral guy. Absolutely amazing, he loves to suck on the pussy. I had orgasm overload and I had to make him stop after a while. Did I mention his huge penis? WOW! That thing is enormous! Not the biggest I have ever had but pretty damned big. When he finally fucked me and filled me up with that enormous cock it was almost more than I could take.
So, I had this amazingly hot sex, and orgasmed until my ab muscles were killing me. The guy acted like I was the hottest, sexiest woman in the universe, which gave me an enormous boost to my ego. I felt like the hottest sexiest woman in the universe.
I went home to my sweety. His eyes were huge and he said, "So how was it? I want to hear everything." So I told him.
And guess what happened in the process of telling him about the awesome, hot, wonderful, fantastic sex that I had? I got extremely horny and started pawing at my wonderful partner. And before you know it, we were wrapped up in a warm, wet embrace, and fucking each others' brains out.
THIS IS SO AWESOME!
Being in an open relationship has woken up my raving, horny slut beast that every woman tries so hard to repress. And it has made me feel closer to my partner. It takes a lot of trust to let your partner go out and experience something different sexually. A lot of guys would probably feel threatened by their wife fucking a muscled, hot body builder, but my man was totally ok with it. In fact, he encouraged it. In the process, I had my ego stroked in a way I never even knew I needed or wanted. I guess every woman has her times when she feels less than desirable or sexy and it sure as hell felt good to know that at least one other man in the universe thinks that I am sexy and desirable.
I am going to have SO much fun with this. I really, really am. Open relationships kick so much ass.
Maybe I will have to tell you guys about the extremely hot sex I had with a cop. But not now, it’s time to go play some jazz.
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How to Get Laid
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Posted:Apr 18, 2006 9:42 pm
Last Updated:Apr 21, 2006 10:07 pm
1489 Views
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I don't know if this has been said before, because I am much too lazy to search through blog archives to find out so I am just going to go ahead and post on my chosen topic to my hearts' content.
Getting laid is why we are here. Am I right or am I right? I mean there is no other point.
But I have a feeling that some of the guys here just don't get laid as often as I do and are in need of some pointers.
OK guys, first of all, realize that any woman on here is in a minority. I checked the listings and for Saskatoon there are at least ten male listings for every female on this site. Holy shit! Being a straight male on AdultFriendFinder kind of sucks. But don't despair, just because it is difficult does not mean there is any reason to believe that a guy can not have tonnes of success hooking up on this site. Horny bitches like me, that want pointless, fun sex are out there.
Just remember guys, us girls get flooded by emails. I mean, sometimes I just can't be bothered. And my msn list gets really full. Oh I am not bragging, I am just stating the simple facts. So make sure if you are sending a chick an email that you are what she is looking for. If the profile says she wants young, hot men, then don't send an email unless you are young and hot. If the chick says she wants a relationship, then why the hell waste your time unless she states she wants a booty call? Or vice versa, if she says she wants a fling, then the last thing you should do is try to be romantic.
This would seem to be common sense, but no, it clearly isn't. I am always getting emails from people that there is no way in hell I would ever hook up with. I know I am fucking hot as a room full of Jenna Jameson (or insert whatever random porn star you wank off to here) but PLEASE don't email me unless we have the same things in common.
And besides that, there is no point in spending the big bucks on a Gold membership just so you can annoy the crap out of people. If you are fat and ugly you should probably lower your standards. Yeah, I'm a bitch, I know, but some of you really need to hear it.
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