ReadyToTango46 57M
188 posts
3/16/2005 12:55 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm



I’ve been a member here at A.F.F. off and on for about a year now, and I must say that I am fascinated by the expectations that people have and the approaches that they use to try to obtain that elusive link-up we are all seeking.

At one extreme you have the Instant Gratification Seekers. These are the people that have an almost animalistic desire to find someone for a quick “fuck and run”. This is by far the most amusing group of people here. They are predominately men, but there are a few women and a surprising number of couples here that fall into this category. Now remember, I’m talking about the extreme here. This group can’t be bothered with viewing profiles, selecting possible matches, and sending emails ‒ it’s simply too much work. These are the people that join the chat rooms and immediately start asking if there is anyone in their area who want to have sex. Now. As in, I’ve got my jacket on and my car keys in my hand so just tell me where you live. And for the men, their “area” seems to be a 200 mile radius within which they are willing to travel, even very late at night, just to get laid by someone they have never seen. When this approach doesn’t work (at least I’ve never seen this approach work), they begin singling out people in the chat room, and often pounce on unwitting victims the instant they enter the room. They do the same type of thing in many of the group forums too. They join a group and post that they are looking for (usually) a woman in whatever area they live , as if that was actually going to attract one of the women here who are desperately trying to just keep up with their email messages. The group forums are filled with unanswered posts of this type. They will also reply to any couple in the group forums regardless of what the couple is seeking. It’s very common to see a post from a couple who has made it clear they are looking specifically for a woman, followed by 15 posts from men offering their services. Hmmm, on second thought, most of these people are more annoying than amusing.

At the other extreme you have the Soul Mate Seekers. These are the people looking for an exclusive and permanent relationship with “the right one”, and are predominantly older (35+) females. Now I suppose that if they have specific sexual needs (i.e. a fetish or some other “alternate” activity), or perhaps want to make it clear that sex is a very important part of their lives, then this is the place to look. But from what I have seen, most of them just seem to be looking for that “special someone”. I have no clue why these people come here. It seems to me that a more mainstream dating site would be much more appropriate. It makes feel badly for them when they enthusiastically check their email for the first time, thrilled by how many there are, only to be assaulted by crude comments and dick shot after dick shot. This usually results in an angry blog or edit to their profile before they leave. Many simply run screaming into the night.

Somewhere in the middle you can find the Friends with Benefits Seekers. This group is looking for something a bit more than just a fuck buddy. They’re seeking someone that they can get together with on a semi-regular basis to have a meal, hit a bar or nightclub with, or maybe watch a movie with. Nothing too serious. The relationship is a casual one without strings or any significant emotional attachment beyond just enjoying each other’s company - and having great sex of course. (BTW, personally I think this is the difference between a fuck-buddy and a friend with benefits. I consider a fuck-buddy to be someone that you meet with on a semi-regular basis, but the meeting is specifically for sex. There is no real social interaction. You know what you are there for and you get right to it). I consider myself to be part of the Friends with Benefits group, although I guess I lean a bit in the fuck buddy direction. My relationship needs to be somewhat discreet, and hitting a nightclub isn’t very discreet. But I digress! This group is the heart and soul of A.F.F. in my opinion. These are the people who take the time to search through profiles, determine who they may like to meet, and then send an introductory email, or perhaps a wink. These are the people that take the time to write all of the great blogs that help us get to know each other better. These are “my people”. *grin*

Now if we could only teach some of the male Friends with Benefit Seekers to be a bit more respectful with their introductions and to stop sending unsolicited dick shots to the women here (and resultantly scaring some of them away). Dare to dream!

Merry49 61F

3/18/2005 6:06 pm

Respect - there's a novel idea!

Merry


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